Wednesday afternoons. My work day ends early and I pick up my grandson Dayan from school. For the last year and a half we have grabbed Chinese food and watched a couple of episodes of Doctor Who together, discussing the show, and life, afterward. However, we are caught up on Doctor Who. And we haven’t selected another series yet to watch. I picked Dayan up from school, as usual, and our routine unraveled from there.
We ate Chinese food at the restaurant rather than eating our take out dinners in front of the tv. And because Dayan ultimately needed to be in Joplin this evening, we decided to go to my house and hang out for a while. That’s when Dayan came up with the brilliant idea of coloring together. My whole family is artistic. I gifted each adult and child with a coloring book and colored pencils for Christmas. We stopped by Dayan’s house so he could pick up his pencils and select a page from his Van Gogh coloring book, and off to Joplin we went.
We were definitely out of our usual Wednesday afternoon habit. Coloring together would be a fun first though. And I love that this grandson of mine, who knows me so well and follows my journeys, often participating in my adventures, quipped, “We are in the flow, aren’t we Yaya?” We were! We were surrendered to doing something different today.
As Dayan drove, we chatted and our conversation turned to the recent death of film and theater star, Alan Rickman. I have found myself missing the bright presence of a man I only “met” by way of his wonderful movie characterizations. Dayan, who at 16 years old is mature beyond his years, shared an observation from his high school Spanish class. Both ser and estar are verbs meaning “to be”. Ser is used to describe a more permanent state, such as nationality, dates and time, and physical characteristics. Estar is used in describing temporary states of being, such as moods or location.
Dayan pointed out that in the Spanish culture, death is estar, a temporary state of being, while relationships are ser, permanent. We discussed those amazing concepts and I found great wisdom and comfort in Dayan’s words. Life and death are temporary states, that flow into each other. Relationships, connections, are eternal and not limited by temporary changes, not even death.
We had fun coloring together this afternoon, chatting as we worked. And while I always enjoy our tv watching sessions, this was a great change of pace. I appreciate Dayan’s flexibility and his willingness to try something different. And his profound insights. Somos en el flujo…we are in the flow. Impermanence again, temporary, ever changing…the journey, the flow, the river of life. And our lives as well, ever changing, shifting, growing. Thank you, Dayan, for the amazing life lesson today.