How Can I Make Life a Little More Tender?

I asked my usual morning question, How shall we play today?, as I was brushing my teeth. Immediately, another question arose within me. How can I make life a little more tender? That seemed to be the question that was foremost in my heart today. Making life a little more tender is foundational to my journey this year. During this time, when I barely look at social media sites because of all of the fear expressed there, and the anger, and the name calling, what can I do to share love and peace, compassion and tenderness?  

I found the answer in my journey today.

It is easy for me to offer compassion, making life a little more tender, to people who are similar to me. And I don’t mean that they look like me. I mean they have similar beliefs and comparable views about the world. We are naturally drawn to one another and journey together companionably.

I showed property to a new client today, someone I met for the first time over the weekend. We liked each other the moment we said hello. She is warm, friendly, and authentic. We chat like old friends, as we walk through houses together. She has an adorable little girl who makes me laugh and holds my hand and invites me to go to lunch at McDonalds. 

I observe that as I work diligently to make sure this family finds the right house, and has the smoothest transaction possible, I am feeling very compassionate toward them and sympathetic about their life situations and the challenges they are facing. By offering from my deep heart, I am making their lives a little more tender. And it is effortless to do so. 

Then, there is another client. We have worked together previously. Is it a coincidence that she showed up in my life again, on a day when I asked How can I make life a little more tender?

In great contrast to my earlier client, this woman has a belief system that is very different from mine. She annoys me. She loves to express her own opinions, totally unaware that I may perceive life differently. While she is happy to be working together again, I am not. I observe myself closing down, becoming guarded, predicting her future actions based on past behaviors. I consider not accepting her invitation to work together. 

Wait…wait. Sigh. 

How can I make life a little more tender? 

I observe that I shift, a fraction. My heart does not close. I keep communication open between us. I listen, really listen, to her. There is pain in her, just beneath the bravado. And loss. And the tiniest bit of new hope. 

Can I journey with her, and make life a little more tender? 

I shared my thoughts with Greg this afternoon, as I delved into the tender places within my heart. He offered profound wisdom. He suggested that perhaps, just perhaps, I could let go of the story I was creating about my client. 

Ah. The truth of that statement resonated deeply. Who would I be, with my client, if I let go of my stories about her? If I saw her with fresh eyes? If I, who am in a different place in my journey, offered tenderness and compassion to the person she is now? Not the woman I have known before. Not the woman my mind wants to create stories about. The woman she is now, further along in her own journey, becoming who she is. 

Who would I be, to her, if I let go of my stories about who she is, and how she is supposed to be? I would be compassion. I would be kindness. I would be making her life, and mine, a little more tender. 

I am grateful for the answer I was given, to my sincere question. I am grateful that the Divine responds and moves to meet me where I am, inviting me to go further and deeper. 

How can I make life a little more tender? 

I make life a little more tender by offering compassion and empathy and love and joy and peace from a heart that is open and overflowing. I make life a little more tender by accepting what is unfolding, for therein lies an invitation to grow, and by living from compassion, empathy, love, joy and peace. 

I asked a question. I know the answer now. I was asked a question in return. And I have an answer. Yes. Yes, I will walk with my client and make her life a little more tender.