Month: February 2018

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Touched by Kindness

As Random Acts of Kindness week concludes, I want to finish the week with a post about some of the people who have most impacted my life. I’ve shared already about my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Cathy, about Anthony William whose teachings radically shifted my health and about Byron Katie whose practice of self inquiry known as The Work freed my mind from the chaos of my thoughts and beliefs.

I could go on for another week, thanking people who have walked alongside, for a short time or a long time, or who currently journey with me. I decided to do a combined post instead, and briefly touch on several.

There is a quote that says small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can change the world. The same is true for individuals. Small acts, multiplied by a dozen people, twenty people, a hundred people, can impact and transform a life. The RAK Foundation based their theme this year on the question, Who is your one? Who, they asked, influenced your life? It starts with one.

I’ve had more than one influencer.

These four have several things in common. They are all authors, speakers, and teachers. And, they have all been game changers in my life.

I heard John Eldredge speak at a book seller’s convention in Colorado Springs in 1997. He stood on a stage, in a room of 350 people, dressed casually in jeans and a light blue denim shirt, and spoke about a relationship with God as a Sacred Romance. John used movie clips to illustrate his points. I literally sat on the edge of my seat, transfixed by his words. Here was someone who understood the power of film, partly because he had an acting background, and he understood that God could speak to us through those movies. John gave me permission that day to embrace the kind of relationship I had with God…a very personal one that began in my childhood, and included an ongoing, daily conversation. John and I became friends that week, while I was in Colorado, and I have been greatly impacted by his books and teachings.

I recently became acquainted with Glennon Doyle, after Elizabeth Gilbert mentioned her in a Facebook post. Glennon has a blog called Momastery and has authored two books thus far. Her gut wrenchingly honest, authentic and humorous writing helped me to work deeper into my own authenticity. She continues to be an influencer in my life.

Dear Elizabeth Gilbert first came into my awareness through the movie Eat Pray Love, based on her book by the same title. Reading about Liz’s year long journey to discover who she was gave me permission to undertake a similar journey of self discovery. As my fears disappeared and my long pent up creativities emerged, Liz published a book, Big Magic, that inspired me in the pursuit of expressing my artistic side. I heard her speak in a Wichita a couple of years ago, which furthered my creative journey.

And Michael A. Singer freed my heart and soul.Greg introduced me to Michael’s book, The Untethered Soul. In it he writes about energy, and how we protect ourselves from hurt by barricading our hearts. When we don’t allow experiences to pass on through us, and trap the emotions instead behind those walls we erect, the energy can’t move as it was intended to. Similar circumstances can then trigger that old wound, and we experience pain again, and suffering. Michael helped me to release old, pent up energy and truly experience great freedom and lightness of being.

I know there are other authors and teachers who have shaped my journey. These four, however, have had tremendous life changing impacts.

Friends have shaped my life as well. My best friend Laurie showed me that women don’t have to compete, but can encourage and support each other. Her untimely death at age 36, in 1990, had as great an impact on me as her life did, and took me years to work through. My friend Andy’s suicide solidified my desire to banish fear from my life, after witnessing how his past crippled his present reality and ultimately snuffed out his life. Mark, whom I’ve known for 11 years but met for the first time in 2014, challenged me 10 years ago to “step up and occupy the Mithril shaped space you are meant to occupy.” Mithril is my soul name, and I accepted that challenge. Garen has walked beside me for 9 years, as one of my closest friends, acting often as a sounding board for my creative ideas. He has been there through some of my darkest moments as well. Cate and Marva and Georgia have been women who make a difference in the lives of others, and have certainly touched my life as well. LuAnn inspired my blog, through the example of her life, giving me a purpose to connect to my writing.

All of these people are connected, in intriguing ways. All have helped to weave the tapestry that is my life and without each one, my life today would look very different. Thinking about the impact people have had on my life creates in me a deep sense of wonder and gratitude. It creates as well the desire to offer into the lives of others, and to do so by being my authentic self, by being me.

I am so grateful for all who have been an influencer in my life. I am grateful for my family…parents, siblings and their families…and Greg, my children and grandchildren. Each has offered into my life. Each has shared my journey and altered my path.

May I walk alongside others with an awareness that life is precious and beautiful and fragile and messy and glorious. And may I offer richly into their lives. My daughter Elissa sent me the following meme last week, sharing that it made her think of me. I am honored that she sees me in this way. May it be so! May I be a game changer in another’s life.

You can learn more about the four authors by clicking on their names below:

John Eldredge

Glennon Doyle

Elizabeth Gilbert

Michael A Singer

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Play Review: Steel Magnolias

The highlight of last night’s girls’ night out was the viewing of the play Steel Magnolias at Joplin Little Theater. Seven of us…my mom, my two sisters, and my daughters and daughter-in-law…sat in the darkened theater for the sold out performance. The play presents the timeless story of “six characters as delicate as magnolias but as tough as steel.”

The Joplin production of Steel Magnolias stars Shanti Navarre, Abbi Epperson, Ann Grace Lile, Ashley Trotnic, Diane Martinous and Lisa Olliges Green. Tegan Whited directed. The play was written by Robert Harling and was originally produced by the WPA Theatre, New York City, in 1987.

The setting for Steel Magnolias is Chinquapin, Louisiana, 1986 – 1987, with all scenes taking place in the salon of Truvy Jones (Navarre). Truvy has just hired young Annelle (Epperson), a new girl in town whose husband has abandoned her.

Annelle (Abbi Epperson) in Steel Magnolias. Photo from Joplin Little Theater Facebook page.

Truvy’s beauty shop is the gathering place every Saturday morning for a group of long time friends. Clairee (Lile), Ouiser (Olliges Green), M’Lynn (Martinous) and M’Lynn’s daughter Shelby (Trotnic) drift in and out of the salon, getting their hair and nails done by Truvy or Annelle as they share life experiences.

Shelby is currently the center of the group’s attention. The play opens on the day of her wedding and as the mother and daughter are getting their hair put up and nails painted, we learn that there is tension between them. Shelby has diabetes. M’Lynn is very protective of her daughter’s health, encouraging Shelby to drink orange juice when her blood sugar drops and sharing with the group of friends that the doctors have advised Shelby that pregnancy poses a grave risk.

During Scene 1 we are also given some backstory on each of the other characters. Truvy runs a successful business, providing excellent salon services to the ladies of Chinquapin. Annelle is starting her life over after a failed marriage. Clairee has recently become a widow and she is learning to live alone while rediscovering who she is and what she wants to do. M’Lynn has an emotionally charged marriage and two sons younger than Shelby. And Ouiser is the most outspoken member of the circle of friends, claiming she has been in a bad mood for decades.

Scene 2 begins just before Christmas, 1986. Shelby, who has been married since the spring, surprises her mother with a trip home, and big news. Against all odds, and the doctors’ advice, she is pregnant. M’Lynn is less than thrilled. Her concern is for Shelby’s health and well being. Shelby, however, remains optimistic about delivering a healthy baby.

During Scene 3, which takes place in June of 1987, Shelby and her mother reveal to the group of friends that her fragile health is failing. Although Shelby gave birth three months prematurely, her baby boy is healthy and thriving. Shelby is experiencing kidney failure and has begun dialysis. Her only hope for continued good health is a kidney transplant. M’Lynn is the closest match available for her daughter. The surgery is scheduled for the next day, much to the shock of the friends. M’Lynn explains that she feels honored to have given life to her daughter twice.

The final scene opens in November of 1987. The black clothing of the friends, the somber mood and the absence of Shelby hint at what’s about to unfold. Annelle has remarried, deepened her faith, and she is nearing the time for the birth of her first child. Clairee has just returned from a dream trip to France. And Ouiser has reconnected with a former male classmate.

From M’Lynn the audience learns of Shelby’s fate. The transplant ultimately failed. After falling into a coma, Shelby passed away at the hospital. The funeral is planned for that afternoon. Through her grief, M’Lynn shares that she was there when Shelby was born and there holding her hand when she slipped away. When M’Lynn expresses anger over her daughter’s untimely death, her friends rally around her, each offering to the heartbroken mother out of their strengths and different perspectives. We see how incredibly precious the gift of friendship is.

This was a very big deal for me, to go see this play. I have purposely avoided the movie, based on the play, since its release in 1989. Without knowing the story, I only knew that the movie was sad. That’s all I needed to know. Due to my difficulties in shedding tears and allowing myself to feel sad emotions, I have successfully stayed away from the film.

When I learned that Joplin Little Theater was presenting Steel Magnolias, I felt it was time to experience this story and not shy away from my emotions. What better companions could I have than my own circle of strong women? I cherish the relationships that I have with each woman and I am grateful that they chose to accompany me to the play.

I was impressed with the creativity of the production. All four scenes took place in the beauty shop, which meant we learned the story through the conversations and interactions of the characters. I adore that kind of cleverness. And the cast of women was amazing. Each actress brought her very best to her role, making the audience laugh in delight or weep in sympathy. These fine performers deserved the standing ovation that they received at the end of the play.

I thought that watching the story unfold as a live performance would lessen the emotional impact on me. After all, there wasn’t a soundtrack of dramatic music to cue my emotions or a long, drawn out hospital scene that depicted Shelby’s death. I was wrong. The sincere and deeply moving portrayals by the cast as the recounted the end of Shelby’s life bypassed my logical brain and zinged right into my heart. My eyes welled up, as M’Lynn spoke passionately about her daughter, and a single tear trickled down my cheek.

I am grateful for the opportunity to see Steel Magnolias in the format it was originally created in. I am even more grateful to have family members seated with me. More than friends, we understand the joys and challenges that life can present. We are daughters, and mothers. We know the fierce desire to live life on our own terms and the equally fierce love that a mother has always for her children. We left united in our appreciation for each other and in our determination to walk alongside each other on this journey we call Life.

And now, at last, I have the Steel Magnolias movie queued up on my Amazon Prime watchlist. I am ready to watch it. I am ready to experience whatever emotions this story draws from me.

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Girls’ Night Out

A quick pictorial post tonight, celebrating a fun evening spent with the women in my family. It is rare for me to get to enjoy an evening with my mom and sisters AND my daughters and daughter-in-law.

The seven of us met for dinner at Hunan Gardens on South Main Street. We connected over shared stories and laughter. And then we sat together in the audience at Joplin Little Theater for a viewing of the play, Steel Magnolias. I’ll write a review later of this exceptional play, performed brilliantly by a local cast.

What a special evening, watching a play that featured a group of strong women who walk with each other through the joys and challenges of life, while sitting with my own group of strong women who have committed to walk with each other through the joys and challenges of life.

I am so grateful for my mom, for my sisters Linda and Debbie, and for my girls, Elissa, Adriel and Megan. I look forward to more times together, sharing experiences and special events.

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Thank You Byron Katie

Seven years ago, I found myself in a maelstrom of emotions. My father had died of pancreatic cancer the year before. A long term relationship was being reshaped. A close friend committed suicide. An EF5 tornado destroyed a third of my town, affecting me, family members and friends, and more than 30 clients. I was fiercely determined to go within and face the fears that had haunted me my entire life. I was equally determined to tear down the strongholds that I had built to protect my heart.

I had never felt so alone, or vulnerable, in my life. And yet, that was exactly where I needed to be. Into that time of upheaval and change came author and speaker, Byron Katie.

Byron Katie, known as Katie, was born in 1942 and grew up in Texas. She later moved to Barstow, California, married at age 19, had three children, and entered a career in real estate. Her life seemed typical, blessed even. But Katie began a downward spiral that took her into severe depression, rage, overeating, and addictions to codeine and alcohol.

In 1986, at age 43, unhappy and desperate for help, she entered a half way house for women with eating disorders, the only place her insurance company would pay for. She was housed alone in the attic because the other residents were afraid of her. After two weeks, lying on the floor because she didn’t feel worthy to sleep on the bed, Katie awoke one morning with an epiphany.

She writes, in her first book Loving What Is, “All my rage, all the thoughts that had been troubling me, my whole world, was gone. At the same time, laughter welled up from the depths and just poured out.”

When Katie returned home, she was a different person. Her family and friends soon realized the old Katie was not returning. She shared with others about the freedom she lived in and how through asking herself four questions, she had realized that all of her old thoughts and beliefs were untrue.

Katie’s epiphany was this: “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered and that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a moment.”

From her freeing experiences, Katie developed questions for self inquiry, a process that has become known as The Work. She shares that our suffering comes from believing our own stressful thoughts. The Work is a way of identifying and questioning those stressful thoughts.

It consists of four questions and a turn around:

1. Is it true?

2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?

3. How do you react when you think that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

And…turn it around, then find three genuine examples of how the turn around is true in your life.

Using the thought, My friend should listen to me. Is that true? Can I truthfully say someone has to listen to me? Therefore, can I absolutely know that my friend should listen to me? No, I can’t know that. How do I react when I think, or believe, that thought? I feel lonely, unheard, unappreciated, invisible. Who would I be without that thought? I would be happy, content, unconcerned. Turn it around. My friend doesn’t listen to me, becomes I don’t listen to my friend. My friend does listen to me. I don’t listen to myself. It is typically in the turn arounds that the truth is uncovered.

Greg introduced me to the books of Byron Katie. I saw how her wisdom freed him up in areas of his life. Her words shifted my thinking, caused me to question my beliefs about everything, began to tear down the defenses I had constructed to protect my heart from hurt.

I read all three of her books. Over and over. I watched her YouTube videos. I did her Judge Your Neighbor Worksheets, which helped me to get really petty about people and circumstances and then follow The Work through my thoughts, which always brought me back to myself. I listened repeatedly to her books on Audible as I drove my car, replaying certain sections until the words unknotted so many of my old beliefs.

The journey I took was deep, and inward, and ultimately freeing. Late one night, out walking in my storm battered neighborhood, I paused to stretch out, in the dark, on the front porch of a house that was being rebuilt. For the first time, in a very long time, the whirling emotions and thoughts were quiet. And suddenly, lying there in the dark, on that vacant house’s porch, that laughter that Byron Katie speaks about welled up inside me and burst forth. I sat up and laughed and laughed, and long pent up energy that had been trapped around my heart loosened and left my body on waves of laughter. I’m surprised someone didn’t call the police.

Peace descended on me that night. My troubling thoughts went the way of the fear I had already stared down. I was filled with joy and a freedom I had never experienced before. Open to everything, attached to nothing, was born in me at that moment. My life shifted and has not been the same since.

Thank you Byron Katie, for instigating that shift. Thank you for sharing so openly and deeply about your own journey. Thank you for inviting me to fall madly in love, with myself, and for telling me to create a knee shaking, deep as it can go relationship with myself. I have learned so much about who I am, about releasing stressful thoughts and worry, and about living in freedom and joy. You are one who has had a great impact on my life.

Because of Byron Katie, because of The Work, I am free…to be myself and to live in the present moment. I am able to allow others the same freedom. Loving what is? Yes, I am.

Visit Byron Katie’s website HERE.

And order Loving What Is below:

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Thank You Anthony William

I could not let this week of kindness pass without sharing about one whose impact on my life the last 20 months has been enormous. Thanks to Anthony William, also known as the Medical Medium, I not only have my health back, I regained my life.

Anthony has a tremendous gift that he shares with the world. At age four, he began to hear a literal voice in his right ear. Spirit told young Anthony that his grandmother had lung cancer, a condition she was as yet unaware of. A visit to the doctor confirmed the info that Anthony received and shared.

He has been sharing medical information since, earning him the name of Medical Medium. Anthony has a website, where he offers a wealth of information for free. There is a wonderful audio series on the site, The Healing Path, that was so encouraging to me as I set off on my own journey of recovery. Anthony also has a strong presence on social media. You can join his Medical Medium Facebook page or follow him on Instagram, and not only receive help for healing, but connect with an ever expanding community of people who have taken back their health.

Anthony has authored three books, so far, and these volumes became my roadmap back to health and vitality. Medical Medium sheds light on the cause of mystery illnesses and autoimmune disorders. His 28 Day Cleanse at the end of the book changed my life, ending 22 years of chronic, debilitating pain. The cleanse also changed my relationship with food. I embraced a plant based lifestyle as a result. Life Changing Foods assists me daily as I continue my journey. This book features more info and 50 powerful foods that support the body as it heals. Each food has an accompanying recipe to try, and they are all delicious! I rely on the index in the back of the book as a source for matching symptoms to foods that aid healing. If I have a sore knee, I can look up which foods will best help in my recovery.

The latest book, Thyroid Healing, is astounding. It details the damage that the Epstein-Barr virus creates in the body. As it progresses through its stages, it eventually settles in the thyroid, causing health problems throughout the body. It is more than a book about thyroid health. It is a tool that aids in getting rid of Epstein-Barr and the viruses that often accompany it, shingles and strep. Thyroid Healing concludes with a 90 day thyroid rehab plan that focuses on eliminating the Epstein-Barr virus. I am about to begin this three month protocol, taking my health to the highest possible level.

I have learned from Anthony that it is possible to heal, even from long term chronic disorders. I now understand my body in ways I have never understood it before. Through my personal experience I discovered that my body wasn’t just falling apart or attacking itself. I was under attack, by viruses that were triggered by a traumatic incident years ago…a car accident. The stress hormones flooding my body fed those viruses. And the poor quality foods that consumed continued to help the viruses thrive and reproduce and release damaging toxins.

I have such respect and appreciation for my body. It fought to heal for so long, in spite of unhealthy, unhelpful foods. I am in awe of the wondrous way the body can heal and support good health, when I nourish it and nurture it. I am grateful for Anthony’s wisdom and guidance. His gift is exactly that, an offering to the world with the sole purpose of helping people take charge of their health and well being. He has dedicated his life to helping others heal, and I am, and will always be, full of deepest gratitude. At my lowest point, health wise, when I could no longer walk without a cane and a wheelchair seemed inevitable, I asked the Divine for help. And the Divine pointed me to Anthony the next day. In my place of pain and deepening despair, Anthony threw me a lifeline, he offered a way through. And he has done so with grace and joy, and without judgment or condemnation.

As the old song says, I am a life that was changed. I am so glad you gave. Anthony, thank you.

If you are looking for healing, for pain, from chronic illness, from a mystery illness or an autoimmune disorder, order Anthony’s books below:

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Thank You Mrs. Cathy

In observing this year’s theme for Random Acts of Kindness Week, I will be sharing stories about people who have had an impact on my life. The RAK Foundation encourages us to think about who has shown kindness, walked alongside or offered a helping hand by asking the question, Who’s your one?

Having excluded family members, I asked myself…who has shown up in my life that was a game changer? I made a list this morning and as I practice acts of kindness this week, I will be aware of the impact these beautiful souls have had on me, and sharing each day about one of them.

The first name on my list belongs to my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Cathy. I have always been a good student. I’m a first born, and a January girl. Overachieving and pushing myself to excel are traits that are definitely in my nature. The truth is, I didn’t enjoy my first few years in school.

Early on, my teachers just didn’t get me. I was an enigma to them. I already knew how to read when I began kindergarten and that seemed to throw off my teachers. I remember being taken to the big kids’ library as a five year old and being handed books to test my reading abilities. Two teachers and the principal huddled in the corner, watching me. In loud whispers they wondered aloud if I had somehow memorized the stories, hence the random pulling of books off of shelves. I was relieved when they finally believed that I could read. Thereafter I was allowed special library privileges…but I felt like a freak for being singled out and quizzed. I learned in kindergarten to hide what I could do.

My first grade experiences bored me endlessly. The Dick and Jane books were frustrating to me. “See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Oh, Dick. Oh, Jane. Oh, oh, oh. See Spot run.” Oh brother, I thought. I sat at my desk a lot, drawing and working on other projects. My teacher looked at me often with suspicion, I thought! Another teacher asked me if I was really that smart, or was I cheating somehow. I just stared at her.

I don’t even remember much about the next two grades. The turning point, thankfully, came in fourth grade. My teacher was Mrs. Cathy and thanks to her, I came to appreciate school and look forward to it. Mrs. Cathy had a pleasantly plump figure and short dark hair. She favored cardigans over her dresses and blouses, and sensible shoes. I loved her.

This energetic woman was always smiling or laughing and never shushed her students for laughing out loud either. She made learning interesting and fun, creating games that increased our retention. She allowed kids to learn at the pace that was right for them. Thinking about her this morning, I realized my penchant for creating fun games for myself, something I still practice, was most likely inspired by the brilliant Mrs. Cathy.

The most important thing about Mrs. Cathy was this. She loved everyone. She treated all of her students with warmth and humor and made each boy or girl feel important. I was at a really awkward stage by fourth grade. My hair was growing out, from the last short hairstyle I would ever have. I was in my chubby phase. I was a bookworm, soaking up knowledge like a sponge. And, I was already adept at hiding huge parts of who I was and very cautious about how much I shared.

Mrs. Cathy made me feel like she saw who I really was and she liked me, as I was. She made everyone feel that way. At Christmas time Mrs. Cathy’s desk was covered with small packages from her appreciative and adoring students. I had asked my teacher what she wanted, if she could have anything in the world. With a laugh she replied, “A new car…a blue one!” I bought her a tiny blue car and gave it to her as a Christmas gift. I’m sure I must have bought her something else as well. I’ve forgotten what that gift was. But I will remember forever her peals of delighted laughter when she opened my gift. She wiped tears from her eyes and gave me a tight hug.

I searched the internet this morning, trying to locate my teacher. Sadly, I don’t know what her first name was, and whether she was really Mrs. Cathy or a Miss. She has most likely passed on, as she was in her 40s back in 1967. I could not find any information about her at all. I did locate an alumni group for William McKinley Elementary School in Tulsa Oklahoma, on Facebook. I made a request to join that group. Perhaps I will link up with a former classmate there who can tell me more.

I don’t have a photo of Mrs. Cathy. I don’t need one. I can see her clearly today in my mind, more than 50 years later. She is forever captured in my memories, wearing a dark skirt, white blouse and blue cardigan, head tipped back and eyes squeezed tight as she laughs and gathers a child close in an encouraging embrace.

Alexandra K. Trenfor wrote, “The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don’t tell you what to see.” Thank you Mrs. Cathy, for being one of my influencers, for changing the way I felt about school, and even how I felt about myself, and for showing me where to look. I’m sending you waves of love and gratitude. I hope you know what a difference you made in my life.

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Random Acts of Kindness Week 2018

Yesterday kicked off Random Acts of Kindness Week, for 2018. I have celebrated this awareness raising week for several years now. Each year has a different theme. For 2018 the week is structured around a question. Who’s your one?

Observed every February, Random Acts of Kindness Week, shortened to RAK Week, focuses on uniting people through generating kindness. Led by the RAK Foundation, officially recognized in 2000, this seven day celebration seeks to demonstrate how kindness starts with one…one person, one kind act.

For 2018, in addition to practicing random acts of kindness, the invitation is to share about the one person who has most impacted your life. Who has inspired you to be a better person? It could be a friend or family member who encouraged you, a teacher who saw your potential, a singer whose song changed the course of your life.

During this week, think about who those people are and tell their stories, share a photo, let the world know that that person, those people, have helped to shape your journey. On social media, tag any posts or photos with #RAKWeek2018 and #CaptureKindness.

I will be sharing stories this week, about people who have impacted my life, beginning with tomorrow’s post. Because I post about my family so often…my immediate family members and my larger extended family…I am going to exclude them. In truth, my family, all of my family…Greg, my children, their spouses, my grandchildren, and beyond that circle, grandparents, parents, stepparents, siblings and their families, aunts, uncles, cousins…ALL have had a tremendous impact on my journey, all have contributed in some profound way. I am deeply grateful for each of them.

I will be sharing this week about some others who have made a lasting impression on me, shifted my thinking or walked with me through a difficult time. I’m allowing my heart to open wide, and I am taking note of who appears and what memories stir.

And I am intentional about offering kindness, in myriad small ways. I have ideas popping into my head…tucking encouraging notes into favorite books at the library, taking pet food to the local animal shelter, handing out Valentines to strangers, donating my time to an organization.

I’m excited to see what unfolds this week, and who enters my awareness to write stories about. And I am happy to change my corner of the world, and send ripples of compassion outward into the universe, one act of kindness at a time.

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Dear Mr. Peterman…

During the last 18 months I have had a renewed interest in old fashioned letter writing. There is something magical about putting pen to paper and letting energy flow as words onto paper. With this heightened desire to pen messages, opportunities appeared to write encouraging letters to people needing cheer and to express gratitude to those who have inspired me on my journey.

So imagine my delight when a company that I have long admired and appreciated offered an Ink and Paper Letter Contest this month through their Facebook page. I was in!

Today’s cold temps and icy conditions encouraged me to tuck myself in this afternoon. I’ve sipped on hot tea, read, and gathered pen and paper to write a letter to Mr. Peterman, of the J Peterman Company.

I have loved this company for many years. The catalogs feature beautifully unique clothing from around the world, captured in colorful drawings. The accompanying text doesn’t just describe the article of clothing, it weaves an imaginative story that enchants.

The above photo is snapped from my most recent catalog. How marvelous to read, “People invariably make assumptions about you based on how you dress, so why not wear things that nudge them in interesting directions?”

The contest the company is sponsoring this month presented me with the opportunity to write Mr. Peterman and express gratitude for the years of inspiration I have received from browsing through the catalogs. Long before I could afford to make a purchase, the gorgeous clothes and fun stories gladdened my heart. Many cutouts from those catalogs adorned my vision boards over the years and sparked expansive dreams.

In the past year, I have made several purchases from The J Peterman Company. The style of clothing appeals to me, with its vintage old world charm and its nod to a more romantic, intriguing era. I continue to look forward to receiving each new publication. J Peterman is still inspiring dreams.

And, the company is fun to follow on Facebook and Instagram. They frequently sponsor contests and I have found them to be very responsive to viewer posts and comments. Their current contest runs through the end of February and every participant wins a prize. Find their Facebook page by searching for The J Peterman Company, and to get details on how to enter. You can check out their website and request a catalog, called an Owner’s Manual, HERE.

Thank you Mr. Peterson, for inspiring dreams and giving my imagination wings. Thank you for encouraging me to travel and have adventures of my own. I am, and will continue to be, your customer for life. And keep those amazing catalogs coming!

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Me’s Nathanael, Right?

Continuing a new tradition that I began with my daughters’ birthdays last summer, today, on the birthdate of my son, I am sharing lessons I have learned from my middle child.

I’ve spent the day thinking about Nathanael as I sorted through photos and created a sketch for him. These times are precious to me, for the memories they stir and the joy that they bring. This is part of Nate’s story.

I found out I was expecting my second child while having a pre-surgery consultation. Nausea, tiredness and a lack of appetite had sent me to my doctor, who suspected gallbladder issues. Before doing x-rays, he asked if there was any possibility that I might be pregnant.

My answer was no. I was still nursing my one year daughter. I didn’t think I could get pregnant while nursing. I am grateful the doctor decided to do a pregnancy test, just to be sure. I’ll never forget the mischievous smile on his face when he brought the results of the test back into the exam room. Not only was I pregnant…I was already three months along!

What a short pregnancy it seemed to be. And this baby appeared to be in a hurry to get started on his life journey. Six months later, on an icy day much like today, Nathanael Gregory Moore was born, after a brief labor that resulted in me barely making it to the hospital, and his attending doctor not making it at all. A young intern, who had never delivered a baby before, literally caught my son as he rushed into the world.

The things this child, this boy, has taught me. He was wiry and strong as an infant. And he decided what he wanted to do and when he wanted to do it. Nate showed amazing coordination. He sat up and walked early, and climbed everything. Ever curious, ever studying people and situations from every angle, he expressed his unique perspectives about life from an early age.

My son became interested in music and art while still a toddler. A toy trumpet and a small keyboard satisfied him for a while. By age four he could pick out tunes on his keyboard, accurately reproducing songs he had just heard. We bought a full sized piano so Nathanael could begin formal music lessons at age eight. He taught me that ability is a gift, but practice and determination expands that gift into something more. For years he played the piano, performing in recitals with college students, scared sometimes to be before an audience, but always willing to give his best efforts.

Through his sketches and artwork he taught me about fresh perspectives. Nate often drew pictures from unusual angles, or created clever drawings of people in costumes. His sketching ability increased until he could draw anything he saw. He’s a gifted artist today.

Nathanael learned best by doing. When I decided to homeschool my children, my son taught me valuable lessons about how children learn differently, and that it was more important that the curriculum fit the child rather than making the child fit the curriculum. Because of my son, I tossed all our textbooks, six weeks into our first school year, and started over. I realized my first grade son didn’t learn in the same way as his visual learner older sister or his younger sister who was more auditory. He needed a hands on approach.

I switched to a way of teaching known as unit studies and Nate and his sisters flourished. He used his musical and artistic abilities as part of his learning style. When he studied Beethoven, he dressed up as the composer and learned to play his music. He stood beside his desk to read, or circled the room, instead of sitting for hours. And when he heard the wail of a siren, he would run outside to watch the police car rush by. For by age eight, this child of mine already knew what his career path was.

Nathanael wanted to be a police officer. And in making this choice, he has taught me some of my greatest life lessons. Many children want to be police officers or fire fighters. They outgrow those early desires and move on to other careers. Not my son. His early tendency to know what he wanted and go after it played out in full force here. He never wavered from that desire. He moved from playing cops, and building the front half of a police car in his room, to becoming a Police Explorer at age 14, to graduating from the university and the police academy with degrees in criminal justice and law enforcement. He has been serving his community for years now, first as a patrolman, then as a trainer, and now as a sergeant. By his example, Nate has taught me about determination, about following your path and your heart, and about perseverance.

As I’ve thought about my son today, and the extraordinary man he has become, I considered what symbol would represent his life. He is a police officer, as he intended to be. He is also a musician, an artist, a wonderful husband and a fun and attentive dad. He loves his family, his career and his community.

If I got a tattoo that represented my son and his life, what would I choose? The symbol that immediately came to mind was the super hero’s cape. Nate’s daughter used to introduce herself to people, when she was three years old, in this way: “I’m Aubrey. I’m a princess. That’s my dad. He’s a hero.” Wise words from a toddler.

I looked up the symbolism for the cape. It represents a noble heart, helping others, rescuing others, and having gifts and abilities on display. The cape signifies virtue, being set apart, mysteriousness and yes, heroism. A blue cape in particular symbolizes empowered protection.

Those words ring true for my son. He doesn’t wear a cape, but he embodies those characteristics. And he does have super powers. He can’t laser through solid doors with his eyes. But he has a laser sharp focus that sees far ahead and guides his determined steps. He knows what he wants…and he goes the distance to reach his goals.

I sketched out a cape, and colored it in with my pencils…blue of course, police officer blue. As I considered which quote to use with my drawing, two came to mind. One was from Christopher Reeve, the actor who played Superman, which seemed appropriate. The other one that snagged my heart was from the animated film, Hercules. Both characters wore a cape. Which quote to use? These choices are important to me. I asked the Divine. Listen to I Can Go the Distance, the Divine whispered back.

This song is from the Hercules movie. I listened. I knew which quote to use. Part of the lyrics say, “This is where I am meant to be. I will find my way, I can go the distance. I’ll be there someday, if I can be strong. I know every mile will be worth my while. When I go the distance I’ll be right where I belong.”

That’s Nate. He’s been on this journey since the day he was born. When he was a toddler, sitting in his highchair one morning, he listened intently as I explained to Elissa how our family members were all connected. After I finished detailing how everyone was related…grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, parents and siblings…he piped up, “And me’s Nathanael, right?” He was figuring out who he was and where he belonged. He has gone the distance. He is right where he belongs, which is exactly where he wants to be.

Nathanael, my middle child, my son, the one who set his course and followed it, the hero who serves and protects, happy birthday. I love you!

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A Song for the Misfit

A few days ago I shared preliminary thoughts about being a misfit. I called it a prelude for the story that will follow. If that post was prelude, then tonight’s is the musical score, a song for the misfit.

I was directed toward the group High Dive Heart a year or more back. Someone read one of my blog posts and thought I would appreciate High Dive Heart’s release, Misfit. The song resonated deeply with me. Research revealed that this group and this song have partnered with anti bullying organizations to encourage those who are different. I purchased the song and added it to the music section on my phone.

As I have continued to reflect on being a misfit, or one who marches to the beat I drum, Misfit came back into my awareness. It is a song for all who feel different, who don’t quite fit in, who go their own way rather than following the crowd or popular opinion.

Here are the lyrics. There are a couple of strong words. Don’t let that stop you from appreciating the message.

Now listen to High Dive Heart HERE as they sing Misfit.

I love this song. Don’t quit doing what you’re doing cause you’re different. I know people say you’re a misfit. But that’s the thing I like about you. This theme keeps coming up for me, in movies, in songs, in conversations and posts, in memes. I like different. I celebrate different. We are each of us different in some way. Let’s rejoice in it and accept our unique gifts and applaud them in others.

The part of the song that says That style you’re rockin’ is from another galaxy… reminds me of a beautifully unique classmate in high school. She was different. She seemed to move through life, and the halls of the high school, dancing to a song only she could hear. She dressed in a flowing bohemian style, way before I knew what that was. I admired her free spirit and her indifference to what others thought. She was herself. And that was enough.

More than she will ever know, that wild heart helped me to begin to see myself in a more favorable way. That’s what people who embrace their own uniqueness do…by their actions, because of their courage, they ignite in others a desire to live as freely.

I do know better than to try to fit in. Misery comes with trying to live by another’s expectations or when the authentic self is hidden away. You too know better than to try to fit in. So don’t. Be you. Because that’s the thing I like about you.