If I Had More Time…

This is not the blog post I intended to write. However, after a long and very full day, and a double blog post day at that, 10:15 pm was not the optimal time to begin that post. Although fun and somewhat lighthearted, I quickly realized I needed a dedicated amount of time to pull off that idea.

Which brought to mind an assignment I completed in It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again, about the topic of time…and my thoughts about having more or less of it. Because this is the post I am writing, it is, after all, the piece I am supposed to write. My former idea, which I will flesh out this weekend, was intended to lead me here.

If I Had More Time

Ray Cummings wrote “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen all at once.” That quote makes me smile, and yet people tend to feel anxious about time. Is there too much of it? Not enough to accomplish what we need to do? Is it dragging by or racing by?

It depends on where you are in the journey.

As a young adult, I thought I had all the time in the world to do what I wanted. Possibilities and time seemed endless.

However, shortly after passing the 50 year marker, what once seemed infinite began to appear very finite indeed. I had not done all I wanted to do. For the first time, I felt the sting of time slipping away. And…that was ten years ago! This exercise was, pardon the pun, very timely for me.

The task was to write quickly, without overthinking, answers to the following sentences.

If I Had More Time

If I had more time, I’d try….

1. Writing a different blog post. Okay, that one doesn’t count. It is highly accurate though!

If I had more time, I’d try…

1. Traveling far and wide

2. Writing full time

3. Creating deep, meaningful relationships

4. Acting

5. Writing a screenplay

If I Had More Time

If I had less time, I’d try…

1. Living part time in Scotland

2. Creating lasting beauty as a legacy

3. Having more adventures with my kids and grandkids

4. Doing only the things that are important to me and bring me joy

5. Writing a memoir

I found this to be an enlightening exercise. The “If I Had More Time” sentences evoked big, sweeping answers. Travel. Writing. New relationships. Acting. Writing a screenplay. Those possibilities excite me, help me to cast far reaching visions.

The “If I had Less Time” sentences brought a totally different response. They narrowed down my vision, focused it in tightly. Travel came down to visiting one country. Legacies came to mind. New relationships? No, I’d enjoy the ones I have and create lasting memories. Focus would tighten what I love doing. And I would record my life.

Both sets of sentences offered me powerful glimpses into myself. And neither set is the right one or wrong one. All information is valuable. It is too soon for me to be wrapping things up. And yet, it’s also good to be mindful that there is a finish line somewhere on this path I’m journeying down. Be mindful. Do what I love to do. Think big, dream big. Focus in. What will my legacy be?

My biggest aha came from insight offered by the author of It’sNever Too Late To Begin Again, Julia Cameron.

“Often, when we say it is ‘too late’, for us to begin something, what we are really saying is that we aren’t willing to be a beginner.”

I love that. Looking at my first list, I can see that instead of thinking it’s too late to try those five things, I might actually just be hesitant to learn what I need to learn, and do what I need to do, to make them reality. It can feel hard to become a beginner. Am I willing to become a beginner?

I am in the process of answering that question. What rises immediately from my heart, overriding my more practical and logical brain, is a whoop and a resounding yes! So be it…

“There are no secrets that time does not reveal.” Jean Racine

If I Had More Time