Fix Her Crown

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I am letting you in on a secret of mine. I’ve not spent much time in the company of women, aside from my family. Oh, I’ve enjoyed several female friendships during my life, although I naturally gravitate toward male friends. Sometimes the girls in school were just too dramatic for me. Therefore, I made the unusual choice, in high school, to not date classmates, preferring instead to build friendships. I don’t regret that choice. It took pressure off of all of us.

However, in the past few years I realize what I have missed, shunning the company of women. Although I am by nature a solitary person, who is never bored in my own company, I’m learning to deeply appreciate the sisterhood that exists among women of all ages, all colors, all nationalities, all backgrounds.

Recently a Facebook friend tagged me in a challenge, that I accepted. It arrived at a time when I am considering what it means to support and encourage the women in my life, from family and friends to dear souls I’ve never met in person but have a friendship with, nonetheless.

Her post began with the words… Fix her crown.

Fix Her Crown

Facebook Challenge Fix Her Crown

My Facebook friend Gizelle tagged me, and many other women, in a post with the following instructions:


I choose not to cry, and dwell in a state of pity, stagnation or despair. I’ve felt the pain of being knocked down but I survived. I am still standing. As a result I choose to be part of the uplifting, development and construction of my life sisters.

Too often, women find it easier to criticize each other instead of building each other up. With all the negativity and pettiness out there, let’s choose positivity.

Upload five pictures of yourself… just you. Then tag beautiful women to do the same.

Gizelle, a bright, beautiful and spirited woman, had no idea I’ve been pondering the importance of sisterhood, which is defined as a community of women linked by a common interest. Nor did she know that those words, Fix Her Crown, have significance for me as well.

I accepted the challenge. With the deeper stirrings that I felt, a blog post seemed appropriate too. Included in this post are the five photos I shared on social media, with brief captions explaining why I chose each photo.

Fix Her Crown
This Harley Davidson shirt belonged to my dad, who passed away nine years ago. I love that I can wear his shirt and feel close to him. There’s a bigger story behind this photo. Read it HERE.
Fix Her Crown
One of my favorite photos, taken in front of Eilean Donan Castle in the Highlands, Scotland. It captures my love of traveling and of Scotland especially. The shirt says, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” Rumi

Fix Her Crown Meme

Lately I’ve seen a meme that snags my attention every time it pops up. Perhaps because my symbol for 2019 is the Queen chess piece, or perhaps because I am becoming the Queen of my own kingdom, the imagery behind the following words enchants me:

“Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world that it was crooked.” Unknown

I love that. The words call to something being born within me. This kind of woman accepts, encourages and supports her sisters. When she sees something she can help with, she does so quietly, without making a big deal about it or broadcasting to the world that her sister needs help.

In a time when division is rampant in the world, expressing kindness by “fixing her crown” feels so important. It’s not about fixing the woman. I’m not so bold to think I can fix people. This is about helping in a situation or offering an encouraging word or coming alongside for a time. It’s about raising awareness so I notice when a sister’s crown has slipped and then quietly offering without expecting anything in return.

Fix Her Crown
I recently received this shirt from Simply Chaffon. It reminds me that I am building a business and a kingdom. Of course there’s a story about it!
Fix Her Crown
Another favorite photo, taken in Venice, Italy. This trip represents dreams manifesting, as my grandson Dayan and I set the intention for the Italy trip five years before it became reality.

How Do We Fix Each Other’s Crowns?

So how do we fix a sister’s crown, without telling the world it’s crooked? How do we focus on offering rather than correcting or worse, condemning?

I came up with these ideas:

  • Watch for the sister whose crown seems too heavy. She might be the mom struggling to load groceries and kids into the car. Or the one who runs out of quarters at the vending machine. Lend a helping hand and offer a cheerful word.
  • Notice the sister who dares to be her own gloriously unique self, no matter what anyone thinks or says. Applaud her. Leave her an appreciative note or give her a thumbs up.
  • Raise strong young women. Preteen and teenage girls, on the way to their queendom, need encouragement and positive role models. They also need to hear how important it is to take responsibility for their own lives and happiness. Come alongside. Tell your stories.
  • Smile at the sister who seems to be journeying alone. Invite conversation and then listen. Be a friend.
  • Stand with the sister whose crown has been knocked off her head over and over again. Offer her acceptance and dignity and grace and a safe space in which to share and grow.
  • Be your own beautiful, shining self. I think one of the best ways we can help each other is to live our lives as the best versions of ourselves. Me happily being me allows you to happily be you. No comparisons or judgments. No tearing down. We build each other up. We link arms and journey together.

Fix Her Crown Award

Inspired by the challenge and the quote, and motivated by the desire to honor women who are helping other women, I created the Fix Her Crown Award for bloggers. As a reader who has found her way here, please consider this your invitation to accept the award. Check out the award post, with instructions on how to participate, HERE.

And my Sisters, know I am here, a woman with a listening ear and an open and nonjudgmental heart. Queens fix each others crowns. And we are all Queens.

Fix Her Crown
I forgot about this photo, until I came across it a couple of days ago. Happy and full of anticipation, I was trying on various outfits for an upcoming trip. I was simply enjoying the moment.


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34 Replies to “Fix Her Crown”

  1. Cindy, oh you are so lovely to mention me. I consider you a friend too. There were certain women I tagged with whom I had hoped to see a post and wanted to see where else the idea might lead. You did not disappoint. I love these thoughts and hope that your post will reach far and wide.

    1. Thank you so much for the tag AND for the inspiration. You nudged me on toward an idea that was forming. Do you have a blog? If so I’ll link it.

      1. Unfortunately in a moment of moving forward I let my website go. I had been life coaching for a while. When I establish a newer version of that work I want the website to be a reflection of my growth and the potentially new demographic I’m hoping to attract.

  2. I love this challenge and everything that it stands for. Rather than tearing one another down, let’s make this world a positive place by building one another up! At the same time, it encourages each of us to discover the beauty within ourselves… So uplifting!

  3. We are SO similar. I have always been the same way! I’ve had very few real friendships with women. I’ve always gravitated more to friendships with men. Maybe because I have 3 brothers and no sisters. I, too, have recently been longing to have that sisterhood. I see my sister in law posting pictures of her with her dear, close friends and it really makes me feel that I’m missing out! I know I can do more to make new connections. Thanks for the motivation and reminder!

    1. This is the story for many of us I think. Some of us feel very isolated even when it’s our choice not to engage. I’m determined to do better too in encouraging and supporting other women.

  4. This is a beautiful challenge. It’s one that I find difficult. I shy away from pictures and that’s why most of my models are my cute kids. I really love the idea of making a fix her crown post, though. I’ll be sure to let you know and link back to you!

    1. It’s hard for many of us, being in photos. Another blogger challenged me early on to be in more photos, something I’ve had to work up to! I look forward to reading your post!

  5. Love this post. Raising women up brings me joy. Sometimes it’s as simple as a few words of kindness. We never know what anyone is going through and a compliment can go a very long way. Love your photos Cindy! They each show a glowing happiness and wisdom in you. Thanks for the great read ❤️

  6. Hi Cindy,

    I love this post and feel so blessed to have found it! This is one of the best, most inspirational messages I’ve heard in a while. As women, we should all embrace each other’s uniqueness. And build each other up instead of being petty and jealous. Very inspirational and eventually I will do a post on this message as well. Women need all the encouragement and inspiration they can get!

  7. Such wonderful thoughts Cindy and your photos are so beautiful. I love that you wear your dad’s shirt. This quote is also one of my favourite especially the part about not telling the world about it. To help and support each other with pure intentions is so inspirational and just what the world needs. ❤️

    1. Thank you. I feel close to my dad when I wear that shirt and he’d laugh that I wear it. I sure miss him. And I agree. I love that part of the quote too. I want to help other women where I can without broadcasting it to the world.

  8. This is such a beautiful post and so encouraging. We women can be so critical of each other in today’s culture. I love this challenge and the movement to lift one another up. Thank you for sharing!

  9. Wonderful read and this is a great challenge! Really good advice we really need to support wach other more and show more compassion and kindness to ourselves and others.
    Your so beautiful!
    Thank you for sharing.

  10. This is beautiful inspiration to support sisterhood and build women up rather than tear down. Loving others comes from a place of self love, and we are stronger together. Great post!

    1. I love what you said there. It does come from loving and accepting ourselves first. Then we can love and accept other women without the need to compare.

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