Today, with its steady rainfall and cool temps, was the perfect day for remaining snugly indoors. I love days like this, when I can write and color and work on projects. One of the most interesting things that I did today was an assignment from week four in The Artist’s Way. The instructions were labeled Time Travel. That caught my interest immediately. I was told to imagine myself as an 80 year old and have her write a message to my current self. And then to remember myself as an 8 year old and have her send me a message as well.
I got out of my own way, envisioned myself at 80, still vibrant and in love with life and wrote her words to me, without overthinking.
“Be yourself. Those things you long to do? Do them. What are you waiting for? You are already learning that as you think about what you want, and take that first step toward it, the Divine sets the whole universe in motion, in response to your heart felt desire. Keep opening to what is possible. Love, without conditions and without holding back. And never stop being curious. Curiosity is your ticket to your greatest adventures. I know! I’ve experienced them. You will too. You create an amazing life for yourself, by following your heart, by allowing life to unfold for you. For that I thank you. ”
And then I remembered myself at eight. I connected with that young girl, whose future still loomed before her, and let her speak to me. As has happened lately, whenever I think of my childhood, tears fill my eyes.
“Hello! It’s weird to think that I will ever be as old as you are now. Did I grow up to be a good person, a nice woman? Am I still afraid? Or did I outgrow my fears? I wish you could tell me. I hope I have figured out how to make it through a long dark night without being afraid. It’s funny to think about giving you advice. But here goes.
Play. You hopefully still have a big imagination. Use it. Have fun every day. Write. You make sense of your world by writing about it. Use good words. Love. Relationships change. People come and go. Don’t be afraid to love because you fear loss. Love anyway, with all your heart. Be brave. You don’t have to understand everything. Accept who you are. Remember when you were very, very young? There was no fear then. There was wonder. There was fascination. Feel those things. It’s okay to share your feelings.
Enjoy your times of being by yourself. But don’t forget to be with family and friends too. You get lost in yourself when you spend too much time alone. I hope you are cool! I don’t want to grow up to be an embarrassment. And write me sometime. I could use the encouragement that the path I’m on gets me somewhere that I want to be.”
I found these exercises to be amazing. I could imagine a twinkle in the eyes of my older self. My eight year old self especially had a lot to say. I paged through a photo album, looking for a picture of myself at that age. I studied my baby pictures and saw joy there. I looked into my own eyes as a young child, and saw sadness there, in some of those pics. I saw a guardedness that I’ve never noticed before.
We have unfinished business, my inner child and me. I think I’ll take her suggestion, and write to her.