Glennon Doyle Archives - Cindy Goes Beyond

May 5, 2022May 5, 2022

Feel It All Playlist

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Last year, I began working through the companion journal to Glennon Doyle’s bestselling book, Untamed. Get Untamed the Journal is leading me deeper into who I am as I discover new aspects of myself.

One of the exercises in the write-in book is simple and yet profound. It connects me more strongly to my emotions and for me, that is a big deal.

The feel it all playlist is an ongoing activity that helps me to sort through emotions and also access them through the power of music. It’s such a valuable tool that I want to share it with you.

Why Feel It All?

Psychologists agree that feeling and expressing all of the emotions is healthy. It’s an important part of letting those emotions pass on through instead of getting caught in the region of the heart, where we tend to replay them over and over…or stuff them away.

I learned in early childhood to suppress negative emotions. At the age of four, I decided crying was a waste of time and energy. So literally overnight, I turned off the tears.

The problem with that decision became apparent immediately. If I chose not to cry, I needed to avoid situations that triggered emotions that might lead to tears. I associated anger, frustration, grief, sorrow, pain and sadness with negativity because those emotions might result in crying.

Avoiding them meant that I also avoided watching sad movies. As a child I walked out of a movie theater when Bambi lost his mother in that classic Disney animation, a precedent for passing on future movies dealing with loss. I steered away from confrontations, books in which characters died, sorrowful music and I shied away from people dealing with grief.

As I grew older, I knew my avoidance of what I considered the negative emotions wasn’t healthy. But by the time I reached adulthood, I couldn’t cry if I wanted to. My body shut down the ability to weep and made attempts physically painful. Fear that I might not handle such raw energy caused me to further avoid my negative emotions.

Joy, happiness, excitement, playfulness, anticipation…these positive emotions I expressed fully. However with age, I discovered I needed my other feelings to grow as a person and empathize more strongly with others.

Connecting with Emotion

Fifteen years ago, the journey into all of my emotions began. I wish I could say that I connected with my feelings…both positive and negative…and grew immediately.

No. It’s still an ongoing journey as I move ever more deeply into those long buried emotions and learn that it’s okay to embrace them, experience them…and let them go.

So I was delighted to delve into the Feel it All, Use it All section of Getting Untamed.

Glennon writes:

“When I got pregnant and sober, I was so afraid that actually feeling all of the feelings I’d been numbing for so long would kill me. I needed to practice feeling in manageable bits. Each night after work, I’d lie in bed and play one Indigo Girls song. Nothing made me feel more deeply and widely than the music and poetry of Amy and Emily. I’d lie there, for one song, and listen, and feel and cry.”

Ah. I so identify with Glennon’s words. I used avoidance rather than alcohol, but the numbing effect was the same. And I realize music plays a similar role for me. It allows me to connect with my feelings in a way that bypasses the safety boundaries I created.

Glennon shares her Feel It All playlist…and her reasons for choosing each particular song. And then she gives an assignment.

Feel It All Playlist get untamed — Feel It All Playlist, an exercise in Get Untamed, the Journal.

Create a Feel It All Playlist

Glennon suggests that good music helps us connect with emotions. I agree. Music is extremely important to me. Every day I listen to songs that move me in various ways.

She asks:

“What are the songs that make you Feel It All? Return to your achy, happy, sad, fiery playlist when you need to practice feeling your feelings.”

I love this fun and insightful activity. The journal provides space to list ten feel it all songs with blanks to fill in for each selection.

__(Name of Song)__ reminds me of ______________________________ and makes me feel__________________________________________.

I’m serious about the assignment and I’m taking my time selecting my songs. So far, eight landed on my playlist. The songs are recorded in the journal. And I created a Feel It All playlist on my iPhone’s music app.

My Feel It All Playlist

Here they are, my eight songs with what they remind me of and what they make me feel:

All of Me by John Legend reminds me of the beauty and magic of intimate relationships and makes me feel sad that it’s difficult to give all of who I am to another and receive the same in return.

Beautiful by MercyMe reminds me of God’s unconditional love for me and that I’m made for so much more than any chaos going on in my life and makes me feel grateful to be so divinely loved.

How Far I’ll Go (Moana) by Auli’i Cravalho reminds me of my yearning to travel and explore and makes me feel determined to keep going toward the distant horizon.

This is Me (The Greatest Showman) by Keala Settle reminds me of the importance of being authentically who I am and makes me feel courageous and powerful in my own skin.

Easy on Me by Adele reminds me of the pain I felt as a young adult and makes me feel I didn’t get the chance to “feel the world around me” because I was so closed off.

Life is a Highway by Rascal Flatts reminds me I’m living in my silver years and makes me feel determined to do what I want to do, NOW!

We Can Do Hard Things by Tish Melton reminds me of how strong I am and makes me feel expansive and committed to my adventurous life.

A Million Dreams (The Greatest Showman) by Hugh Jackman and Ziv Zaifman reminds me of the importance of my thoughts and dreams and makes me feel that I can envision and create the world I want to live in.

Feel It All Playlist songs — Songs on my list.

Create Your Own Feel It All Playlist

The purpose of the playlist is to listen to the songs often and connect with my emotions. I listen to my playlist almost every day. There’s room on my list for two more songs, although I can add as many as I wish. And I can always swap out songs if I feel another better connects with me.

Would you like to create your own playlist?

What songs are a lifeline to you, when you are drowning in a sea of conflicts? Which song lifts your spirits, every time you hear it? What’s your go to fight song? If your life had a soundtrack, what song best captures where you are in this moment? And when you are feeling life deeply and painfully, which song do you crank up and breathe in?

These are the songs that belong on your feel it all playlist. Keep the playlist on your phone or in Spotify, Amazon Music or YouTube. For added insight, grab a piece of paper and write down what each song reminds you of and what it makes you feel.

And if your current journey includes discovering more about who you are and the life you are here to create, purchase Get Untamed the Journal by Glennon Doyle. It’s so worth the $13 investment to free yourself to live the life you desire to live.

So, tell me the name of a song that might go on your Feel It All playlist?

Feel It All Playlist me — Learning to feel all of my emotions.

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September 14, 2020

Dancing on My Island

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Author and speaker Glennon Doyle inspired this post, with a chapter in her book Untamed. Titled “Islands”, the chapter provides much food for thought. I’ve re-read the chapter many times, underlined passages and sorted through my feelings and reactions to it.

As this crazy year winds down, I’ve moved deeply into a space of inner knowing. Working in my garden one day, words drifted across my mind, in the form of an invitation. “Release your inner wild woman.” While that is another blog post for another day, part of releasing my inner wild woman, my inner wildness, connects to fully inhabiting my own space and occupying my own island.

I’m still exploring this terrain and learning. And as I gain clarity, I’m dancing over here, on my island. I’ve also danced around sharing this post for weeks. Yet every time I think, “Nah…I’ll share these thoughts later”, I receive a nudge that propels me forward.

Dancing on my island? Yes I am. And here is what that is all about.

On the Island

Glennon shares in her book that when she made the decision to divorce her husband and marry Abby, people had BIG feelings about her news. Some of those responses made her feel afraid, defensive, angry, exposed.

Abby created a metaphor to put the situation in perspective.

She asked Glennon to imagine their love as an island. On that island live Glennon, Abby and Glennon’s three kids from her previous marriage. Real love dwells there too.

She added that the island is surrounded by a moat, filled with alligators, and they will not lower the drawbridge for anyone carrying fear onto their island. On the island only love exists. Everything else stays on the other side. They are happy on their island. Let others scream hate or fear. They can’t hear it. There is too much music.

Creating My Island

That story, that metaphor, resonates deeply with me. There is so much noise in the world right now, so much hate, fear, anger and unkindness. People attack each other over beliefs. As an empath, I FEEL those swirling emotions. They hurt me, and not just emotionally. Fear, hate and anger stab me with sharp, jagged edges and create physical pain.

The idea of dwelling on an island, apart from all the negativity, appeals to me.

There I can connect to nature, to the Divine, to myself…and I can breathe, think, process all the feels and be fully myself.

No one is allowed into my sacred space, carrying fear, hate, anger, prejudice or unkindness with them. I won’t lower the drawbridge. And the moat surrounding my island is filled with jellyfish…beautiful, fascinating jellyfish…that deliver warning stings if anyone steps into the moat.

Dancing on My Island jellyfish — Dancing on my island, protected by jellyfish.

Island Dweller

So what does that look like, in reality, to live on such an island?

Of course, it’s a metaphor. I wish I owned an actual island to fly to when I needed time alone. I don’t.

The island represents my personal space, where I am my truest, most authentic self. I decide what enters that space…and what doesn’t.

I’ve already touched on what is NOT allowed on my island: fear, anger, worry, racism, hate, judgment, prejudice, bullying, negativity and unkindness. The list may grow, as needed.

What IS allowed: love, kindness, joy, acceptance, peace, curiosity, inspiration, connection, creativity, positivity, passion and hope. That list may grow, as desired.

I’m done explaining myself to people who don’t want to understand. As Glennon says, “Explaining is fear preparing its case and I am not on trial.” I’m not on trial either. The only way to convince someone that all is well in my world is to live my life and show that all is well in my world. Dancing, figuratively or in my living room, is an outward expression of my joyful living.

Only Love In…Only Love Out

There is a sign on the mainland, across from my island: Only Love In. And there is a sign on my island that faces me: Only Love Out. Those signs serve as reminders that I won’t drop the drawbridge for someone carrying lower energy emotions with them. I won’t allow them to get close to me.

And, I don’t want to head out into the world, from my sanctuary, carrying those lower energies either. I know how to deal with such energies and clear them out of my life. From love flows all the things I desire in my life and desire to offer to others.

When I’m engaging with the world, I intend to limit contact with fear, anger, hate and the other low energy vibes I don’t want in my space. This means I’m curating my social media feeds and quietly blocking or deleting people as needed. And it means I don’t engage in conversations that include racism, hate, fear or unkindness. I’ll remove myself.

I’m not burying my head in the sand on my island. I am very aware of what’s happening around me. I choose not to engage. Instead, I’ll listen and learn from those who are speaking truth, whether about change or life or the future. I’ll grow. My energy I send out in healing waves of love, joy and peace, to those who need it. I’ll use my voice to speak kindness, love and joy. And I’ll take actions to help others, walking alongside for a time, offering from my heart and resources.

I’m protecting myself and my space, fiercely. If others want to shout at me from across the moat, let them. I’m dancing on my island to my favorite tunes.

Dancing on My Island only love allowed — Dancing on my island – only love allowed

What Does Your Island Look Like?

Do you desire to protect your personal space?

What is allowed on your island and what isn’t? Make a list of what absolutely cannot come across the drawbridge, no matter who is carrying it. Decide who lives on your island with you. What an amazing way to love and protect the children in your life, when you will not allow fear to assault them and share space with them.

Read the chapter “Islands” in Untamed…and then start at the beginning and read the whole book. It’s life changing. At least, it is changing mine.

Release your inner wild woman…

I am doing so. And doing so, I am allowing the path ahead to be shaped by what I am discovering. In living life beyond the edges I’m finding out just how far out those edges go.

Dancing on My Island paradise — Dancing on my island is paradise for me.

Check out my review of Glennon’s book Love Warrior.

Purchase Untamed by clicking on the photo below:

April 1, 2018

The Empty Tomb

I’ve stayed in all day, on this Easter Sunday, practicing my usual self care and trying out a couple of new recipes. I’ve been mindful of the significance of the day however, thinking about the word resurrection and about the tomb that was found empty. I jotted down a few thoughts this morning during my free writing. And then, I found a quote by author, blogger and speaker Glennon Doyle, that perfectly matched what I was thinking about. Amazing how that happens, right?

So I will be brief today, sharing Glennon’s marvelous words and a couple of thoughts of my own.

Glennon wrote:

Beloveds! The tomb is empty! He is risen! That hopeless, tired, old stinky tomb you visit every damn day: your past, your pain, how they didn’t love you right, your failure, your addiction, that one that got away…Beloveds, there is nothing there! Stop visiting! Why do you look for the living among the dead? You have risen! You are a brand new thing! Live, live, live, live, live Beloveds!

First the pain (Good Friday), then the waiting (Saturday), then the Easter Morning rising (Easter Sunday). The crucifixion confirms, yes, life hurts. The Resurrection concludes, but Love wins!

I love a woman who isn’t afraid to end almost every sentence with an exclamation point, to show how passionately she believes what she is writing. And I appreciate her words and the imagery she creates with those words.

Jesus took care of it. In his own words he said, I have come that they may have Life, and that they might have it more abundantly. Then he showed us that death is not the end by walking out of the tomb they laid his lifeless body in.

Resurrection. From the Latin resurgere…to rise again. He did that. He got up, alive again. He did that so I might have life and have it more abundantly, more fully, without the taint and stench and fear of death hanging over me.

I am not understanding or appreciating what he did if I keep returning to the tomb of my past life to kick around the grave clothes. I am not living abundantly if I keep fretting about things that happened that I cannot change. I gave a talk once in which I said living with my focus on what was, what has passed, is like trying to steer a boat by standing at the back, the stern, my attention on where I’ve already been. That’s not helpful. I’m not going that way. I must turn around and seize this present moment and set a course.

The ghosts of my past, the failures in my past, the joys in my past…are all behind me. While useful for lessons learned and sweet memories, why would I keep returning to gaze at my past? There is nothing there. However, there is such incredible Life here and now to enjoy and to experience to the fullest. My freedom to do so has come at a great price, one that was willingly paid.

He is risen. I have risen too. I am so grateful for the empty tomb.

February 5, 2018

Journey of the Misfit

I’m doing something different in tonight’s post, that I have not done before. It fits well with the theme for this year…story…in that I am calling this post a prelude.

I have felt drawn in a particular direction for several days, and although I didn’t feel ready to write about it, the topic kept popping up, coming at me from a variety of directions and sources. When something appears in a repetitive way it is a signal to me to pay attention. I felt like I had written about this subject before, but apparently there is something more for me here, something deeper to explore.

I have always felt like a misfit…like someone who doesn’t quite fit in traditional roles. As a result, I’ve hidden aspects of myself for most of my life. I no longer mind being a misfit, being different, realizing my creativity and imaginative ideas flow from my unique perspectives. It has been a journey indeed to quit trying to fit in and celebrate my differences and the beautiful differences of everyone I meet.

From my love of the messages within the movie and songs of The Greatest Showman, to the quirky games that I create to play, to my desire to adapt things now to fit me rather than the other way around…I am reveling in the joys of being who I am.

Knowing I was not ready to write about all that is stirring in my heart, I considered several other possibilities for the blog this evening. But no. I was continually, gently, brought back to these ideas…which means it is important.

So instead, as I grapple still with my thoughts, here are the signposts from today’s journey, all pointing me down the same path. I’m going to post screenshots, without explanation, without connecting the dots. However, you can see how the same theme kept tapping on my shoulder, and on my heart today.

All of the above caught my attention during this day, raising my awareness and sparking deep thoughts and deeper questions. This is my prelude, my introduction to an upcoming post. I will share the story tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, whenever all that I am supposed to see and hear and feel and follow is revealed. I’m excited, and curious, to see where the path goes.