Happy Birthday Dear Me

Today is my birthday! And what a joy filled day it has been. I’ve received hundreds of birthday wishes and blessings, from all over the world. Some of the messages made me laugh. Some let me know that the sender understands who I am and they get my journey. And some made me cry…happy tears. What a beautiful world we live in. I am undone by the outpouring of love and joy and encouragement. 

Happy Birthday Dear Me...Celebrating Who I Am
Last year I wrote a birthday post for every member of my large, extended family. In April I began to include information about each person’s name and personal characteristics. I missed doing that for those with birthdays in January, February and March, including myself. 

I looked up my name, my formal name:

“Cynthia, you are cheerful and friendly, and could live a very emotional life. A high energy person, you like to have several lines of effort going at once. You are a good speaker and promoter and can express yourself joyfully and constructively.  You have the ability to think up big ideas and bring them to completion. You might be psychic. You are inventive, intuitive and extremely methodical. Since your will is so strong, you can be hard to convince. You also dislike advice and at times, you can be impatient, and impulsive. However, you love beauty and philosophy and spirituality . You have a strong need for freedom – physical, mental and spiritual.

You have the power and the unique ability to choose your own destiny and achieve anything you want in life. You can expand in any direction according to your will and your set of values. You have a passion for life and for fairness, which means you belong in a position of authority. You are inherently courageous and possess the endurance to accomplish “The Impossible Dream”. With that power comes responsibility, something you are willing to accept. You hold keys to the material world, but with this gift comes a high spiritual responsibility to be fair and true to others. You are philosophical and mature, determined and intense,  with a desire to endure and go far.” 

Happy Birthday Dear Me, Celebrating Who I Am

I read through the words above slowly and thoughtfully, feeling into them for truth. It’s a bit different posting them, when they are for me rather than a family member. I can see my loved ones’ strengths and passions clearly. 

I see truth there, sense it really, more than see it. I am encouraged by what I read, receiving affirmation that it is okay for me to be a dreamer, a big idea generator, psychic, intuitive and inventive. Creativity pulses through my blood. As do stubbornness, impatience (especially when I am forced to wait because of the inaction of another), and impulsiveness. And I do desire freedom of all kinds, freedom to be, to journey, to grow, to walk in an uninhibited way with the Divine. 

Happy Birthday Dear Me, Celebrating Who I AmMy J Peterman sweater arrived in time for my birthday! I love it. 

I love reading that I have the power and ability to choose my own destiny and achieve anything that I want in life. What a powerful blessing. It’s the equivalent to being handed a map and a magical key and being told “No door is closed to you, no land off limits.” The adventurer in me quickens with such   spacious thoughts. What an amazing invitation to explore, both my inner and my outer worlds. 

I am intrigued by the very first sentence, in the description, that ends with the words….could live a very emotional life. Could is the key word. I have not lived an emotional life at all, because I chose at a young age not to, suppressing emotions such as anger and sorrow. I wonder how I would be now, if I had chosen otherwise, if I had lived as the emotion filled being I was intended to be? 

There is no going back, no undoing that long ago choice. I have done much inner work in the last ten years, to free all of my emotions, to stare down fear and embrace who I am, all of me, gifts, quirks, strengths and weaknesses. It is an ongoing journey. Perhaps I will yet know what it is to experience a full range of emotions freely. 



The last year has been amazing for me. I have learned vital lessons and experienced growth. I walk with greater trust, in myself, in the Divine, in my ability to have an ongoing conversation with the Divine. I walk without a cane!  And I am well underway on a remarkable healing journey that is restoring my health and vitality. My family thrives and all are well, all is well. Tonight I dined with eight of my loved ones, a casual, fun celebratory meal. 

I am indeed so inspired this year, to see what I can do, what I can achieve, who I can walk alongside with, who I can help. Within me does burn the desire to endure and go far, beyond my boundaries, beyond my borders, journeying with the flow, surrendered to Life and where it takes me. 

Impossible dream?  I don’t think so! Happy birthday, dear Me. Onward and upward. I love you! 

Happy Birthday Dear Me, Celebrating Who I Am

Surrender 9: Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my birthday. And a beautiful day it has been, from start to finish. I had the joy of spending the entire day doing things that I love. 

I awoke leisurely, and I was greeted by falling snow when I opened the blinds to let the world in. We only got a dusting, but how beautiful to sit sipping a steaming cup of hot tea and watch the swirl of snow through the windows. 

 

Throughout the day I received a steady stream of well wishes. My grandson Jonathan called and sang Happy Birthday, kicking off my celebratory mood. So far I have been the recipient of more than 400 birthday texts, Facebook posts, messages and phone calls. I am surrounded by love and joy.  
 

I replied to each post, text and message, and an interesting thing happened today, as I typed. As the words appeared on my phone’s screen I would whisper, “Thank you…(and add the name of the person who sent the message)….love and blessings to you.” I’ve never done that before. I’m not sure where the idea came from. I suddenly became aware of what I was saying. I liked sending a blessing to the giver and I surrendered to what was unfolding. Imagine how full my heart is tonight, after whispering those words more than 400 times! My joy overflows. 
 

I only left the house once today, and that was to attend the All-District Honor Band Concert this afternoon. Last fall 400 students from 27 different schools auditioned for honor band. Ninety-nine musicians were selected, including my grandson, Dayan. My daughter Elissa and son-in-law Josh picked me up and we made our way to the Joplin High School Performing Arts Center. I was excited to be inside this new building on the beautiful high school campus for the first time and I was in high anticipation for the concert. 
 Dayan, handsome in black, headed onstage. 

What a thrilling performance. Under the skillful direction of conductor Dr Rick Espinosa, the band moved the audience with “A Longford Legend”, “Shenandoah”, “Three Folk Miniatures” and “Pas Redouble”. We were on our feet cheering by the last musical piece. 

                      Listen to Pas Redouble here

These yearly concerts expand my heart, inspire me, and remind me of the importance of living fully as the person I am, offering my “music” to the world, while allowing everyone else to do the same. I tear up listening to these teens as they offer their beautiful gifts so soulfully. 

  
After only eight hours of rehearsals, playing music they have just received, joining in with other musicians and a conductor they’ve just met, they create a concert that astounds. Dr Espinosa, Director of Bands at MSSU, praised these students, saying they were the best honor band he’s ever had the privilege of conducting. He joked that he could take the band on the road and they could all make money! I was blessed to get to hear their performance today. What a birthday gift. 

  
Back at home I enjoyed the perfect afternoon tea…hot Scottish thistle tea, and a single piece of cake that I purchased yesterday at the market bakery. I’ve had a simple dinner, and I am content, still thanking people for their kind happy birthday wishes, continuing to send love and blessings back. I have a stack of coloring books and my jars of colored pencils nearby, and the next episode of Mozart in the Jungle ready to play. 

My birthday is my personal New Year’s Eve…a time to reflect on the last year of my life and feel gratitude for the experiences and the growth, before releasing the past. It’s a day to feel excitement for the perfect moment by moment unfolding of the upcoming year. It’s a day to be aware of my blessings, and they are many. Life is good. Happy Birthday to me!

  

Journey 64: Happy Birthday Linda

Lindas birthday

This evening, eight family members joined my sister, Linda, to celebrate her birthday, which actually is today. We are always a lively and talkative bunch where birthdays are concerned, and even more so when the object of our celebration is my sister. Seated around a long table at Cracker Barrel, in Joplin, we laughed and chatted and enjoyed home-style meals. The birthday girl finished our time together with a piece of double chocolate Coca-cola cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Linda passed the cake around so that others could share in the chocolaty goodness.

And that is very typical of my sister, to share what she has, without expectation of getting anything in return. This fun loving, good natured, big hearted woman is one of the most generous people I know. What she has, you can borrow or share it with her. She enjoys a good laugh, and loves to play board games, go on outings, watch movies, and learn about interesting things.

Linda and grandkids 2 Linda and grandkids

Her two great passions are her children and grandchildren, and animals, especially dogs. She has long been an advocate for pet health and wellbeing and was the director of an animal shelter in Oklahoma for years. She has not only cared for dogs and cats without homes, tending to them, fostering them, making sure they were adopted by loving, caring families, she has gone on many rescue missions to bring abused or neglected animals to a safe place. One of her dreams is to form a “no-kill” sanctuary in the Joplin area for homeless dogs and cats.

She is Gigi to her grandchildren, three granddaughters and one grandson, and one could not ask for a more fun and loving grandmother. She is playful with her grandkids and loves seeing the world through their bright eyes. My grandchildren and my younger sister’s grandsons call her Gigi as well. We are a big, active, nurturing family, and Linda loves being in the middle of that happy group of souls.

linda and weston

Being the eldest child in my family, I have journeyed with my sister since her birth. I’m told I really wanted a puppy when she was born, and supposedly slapped her when I met her. I’ve done my best to protect her since, both literally when we were kids growing up in a neighborhood full of children, and emotionally and spiritually as well, as adults. You don’t mess with my sister….or any of my family members.

I had the privilege of selling Linda a house in Joplin a couple of years ago, and I have so enjoyed having my sister nearby. This past year, as I moved beyond by experiencing something new each day, she was often my companion, happily trying new things with me. And so we watched a college basketball game together and sipped wine while we painted a picture downtown. We attended a weather spotting class and also watched a hypnotist at work. We did chalk outlines on the side of a downtown building as part of a living art project that honored a Joplin tornado victim, and tried chemical peels for the first time. If I needed someone to go with me on a first, she never hesitated to volunteer. I also had the joy of being at the finish line as Linda participated in a first of her own, a 5K run.

Linda 5K run

I look forward to our continued journey together. Life isn’t always smooth or perfect, but one thing is true, my sisters and I always have each others’ backs. Cali Rae Turner said, “The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend.” I am so glad to call Linda my sister….and my friend. Long may we journey together, even into the twilight years of our lives. A sister is the first friend we make, really, and perhaps the last friend that we have at the end of our journeys. Happy Birthday, Linda…I love you!

RSVPaint class 2

Day 139: Dayan’s 15th Birthday

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What a fun first for today, celebrating my oldest grandchild as he turned 15. While celebrating birthdays in my family is not new, during this year of firsts, I acknowledge each milestone birthday and the specialness of each of my family members. Dayan’s birthday, which actually is today, is a big one for him as he is now old enough to get his driver’s permit, a first for him and a first for me….a grandson old enough to begin driving.

From the moment of his birth, Dayan Aaris Reynolds has been creating firsts for me: first grandchild, first grandson, first to call me Yaya, first school programs and band concerts and art competitions, and many first opportunities to see the world afresh through a child’s eyes. When he was a small boy, we began a tradition called “The Adventures of Dayan and Yaya” where we created stories together, each of us contributing a few sentences at a time to the story as we took turns narrating it. We’ve been happily creating adventures ever since.

Dayan was a joyful, loving , bright child who was always quick to laugh or dance or sing. He was a friendly boy who never knew a stranger and was gifted with the ability to see the best in people, in all people, and compliment them in the most sincere way. I have learned so much about life from this amazing child, who is now a young man.

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Dayan, age 1, experiencing bubbles for the first time. He’s been laughing ever since.

A few years ago, when he was about 8 years old, the trolley system came to Joplin. Wanting to experience a trolley ride, Dayan and I stood with a group of people outside the Joplin Public Library, waiting for our turn . As we watched for the trolley, a man moved slowly down the sidewalk, in a wheelchair, toward our group. He was a double amputee, missing both legs from the thighs down. The adults all carefully averted our eyes, out of pity or discomfort. I glanced at Dayan. He was watching the man intently. I thought, “Oh Dayan, don’t say anything…” and tried to distract him, fearful he might ask embarrassing questions. As the man stopped near the edge of the group, Dayan stepped toward him, bowed at the waist, and said in a bright, cheerful voice, “Good day, good sir, how are you?” The man’s face lit up. As he and Dayan had an animated conversation the adults looked at each other sheepishly. While we tried to pretend we didn’t see the man, Dayan not only saw him, he engaged him. When the trolley pulled away, that man energetically wheeled away in his chair, waving to Dayan. I learned a huge lesson that day, one of many from this kid, about really seeing people and recognizing their shining souls.

I continue to watch this young man study people and find the perfect words to draw them out or light up their faces. He doesn’t engage in flattery, he engages hearts and encourages others by pointing out what’s true. I once thought he had encountered a person who could not be encouraged. She was frazzled by a day of running the register at a busy store and her words, demeanor and appearance all suggested she had had a bad day. I didn’t think even Dayan could find anything good to say. How shallow of me! He studied her, while I studied him, hoping he would just let this one pass. I had heard her sharp words to the customer in front of us and I didn’t want her to snap at my grandson. Suddenly Dayan said softly to her, “You have beautiful eyes.” She melted….and her eyes, which were indeed beautiful, once I really looked at her, filled with tears. This dear woman transformed before me, chatting easily with Dayan as he loaded our purchases into the cart. As we left, she told me what an amazing boy he was. I agreed.

And I believe that still. I am proud of him for all his accomplishments, in school and beyond. But even more so, I am grateful for Dayan and for his perspective on life and his compassion toward others and his fearless way of speaking up. I am grateful that I am his Yaya. And I am grateful for the way my heart and life have opened and expanded because of him.

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Birthday dinner at Red, Hot & Blue