life lessons Archives - Cindy Goes Beyond

August 25, 2017August 25, 2017

Every Little Thing Gonna Be Alright

The focus of today, and indeed, of much of the last couple of months, has been real estate. Summer is a busy time for realtors. Families move while kids are out of school. Out of town buyers come in to look at properties while they are on vacation. Continued low interest rates make it a great time to buy. And low inventory, creating competition for housing, makes it a great seller’s market as well.

Into every realtor’s life comes challenges that pop up during a transaction. It’s my job to handle each issue as it arises, in a manner that is satisfactory to all parties concerned, which typically includes my clients, another realtor, their clients, and various affiliates.

Such was the case with a transaction that was scheduled to close today. There were a few bumps as my clients and I journeyed toward closing. Those were dealt with and we kept moving forward. However, late yesterday, on the eve of closing, one of those bumps quickly grew to become a wall that appeared to be immovable. It was the kind of grave situation that left the other realtor and I standing together saying, initially, “I’m not sure…I’m not sure how to handle this.”

This is not the story of what went wrong. This is the story of what went right.

What I am incredibly proud to say is, that after a time of shock and understandable reactions, everyone came together and talked…and talked…and brainstormed about how to proceed. My clients were open and gracious. The other clients were open and gracious. Both compromised to reach an agreement.

The agent on the other side of the transaction stepped up and waded in, putting in long hours and going above and beyond without a word of complaint. I did the same.

And this is where my attitudes and thoughts about being a realtor have shifted dramatically these last few years…I do all I can to take care of my clients in a conscientious way, and stay open and in communication with the other realtor and all parties involved. And then I open to the Divine and ask for guidance. I ask for grace and compassion and love and kindness to surround each person involved and all situations. I ask for angels to surround us all. I listen for and look for inspirational nudges and Divine messages. I express gratitude each step of the way as I act on what I am given. What I have stopped doing is worrying, fretting, struggling, resisting and coercing.

This morning I met my clients at the title company at 6:15 am, thanks to an extremely accommodating closer. We closed our sides of two separate transactions. The sun was just coming up as the final documents were signed. They went on to work and I went to my office. As I drove to Keller Williams, during the dawning of a new day, I expressed deep thanks to the Divine, whom I call El-le. El-Hebrew word for God, elle-French word for she…both pronounced “ell” and together reminding me that the Divine is neither male nor female and yet encompasses both male and female.

I was grateful that we had made it this far, grateful that people came together to find a solution. Was it perfect? No…everyone involved sacrificed something. And yes…because nothing happens by accident. For myself, there were lessons to learn and opportunities for growth. Trust has been a big lesson for me the last few years. This experience was the next exercise in trusting that all is unfolding exactly as it should, even if I can’t see what’s around the corner or explain all the whys about what is happening.

I was very aware that even though my clients had closed their sides, things could still go wrong. However, I chose not to focus on that. I chose to trust. I chose to let everyone else do their jobs. I chose to express gratitude, aloud in an empty car.

As I walked into the office a little after 7:00, I felt settled and centered and at peace. We have background music that plays in the office during the day. Perhaps it plays all night too. As I walked down the hall, the song playing literally overhead suddenly caught my attention. Bob Marley was singing out, at that precise moment…

Don’t worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be alright. Rise up this mornin’, Smiled with the risin’ sun, Three little birds, Pitch by my doorstep, Singin’ sweet songs, Of melodies pure and true, Sayin’, (this is my message to you),

Singin’ Don’t worry ’bout a thing, ’cause every little thing gonna be alright.

I stopped to listen, amazed. I laughed. I teared up. Oh sure, it was Bob Marley’s voice but it was El-le speaking…Don’t worry. Every little thing gonna be alright.

The Divine didn’t say it was going to be easy or simple or without challenges. It is big stuff, to all of us working through it, yet in the end, three sets of clients will have ended up with what they ultimately wanted…new homes, fresh starts, stories to tell. I can only speak for myself, but for me this time also includes lessons about trust, growth, gratitude, higher awareness, intuition and deeper faith.

I’ve been singing the words all day. Every little thing gonna be alright. And so it has been and so it is and so it shall be.

July 31, 2017

Getting the Weeds Out

Weeding is an essential gardening chore. When I water in the evenings, I pull a few, in an attempt to keep up with the abundance of over growth. Weeds thrive in the garden as well as the flowers and herbs do.

This time of year is tricky. The hot muggy days make it challenging to spend the time outside that is necessary to keep up with the weeds. And those errant grasses and scrubby plants love the higher temps and humidity. I usually fall behind. This year, the section that got away from me, again, was the entrance into the backyard, just beyond the peace gate. The arrival of a few cooler days spurred me to don my gardening clothes and tackle the overdue task.

As I surveyed the weedy mess, I deliberately pushed away the idea of learning anything as I worked. Couldn't I just zone out? When I encounter resistance, it is my signal that I am leaving the flow. Apparently when I entered the garden, I entered the classroom as well. What was here for me today?

Below are my thoughts, in italics, my lessons as I cleared this area of weeds, accompanied by pics.

A really healthy crop of weeds makes it difficult to see the ground cover and paving stones in this section. I feel a pang of guilt and shame. I should have kept up with this better. Energetically, this area feels choked and cluttered, not the welcoming feeling I desire as people enter the garden.

The first step in removing unwanted "weeds" from my life, is recognizing that they are there. And I must understand that they are what they are. I don't need to berate myself. Instead, I can focus on what I am feeling energetically about these things that have cropped up in my life. Choked? Crowded? Overwhelmed?

Some of the weeds have a beauty of their own, like this wildflower. However, this plant is competing for sunlight, space and nutrients with the creeping jenny plants sharing the same area. I choose to eliminate the wildflowers, so that the ground cover succeeds in flourishing and covering this section.

Not every weed in my life is bad. It is a matter of choice. I can eliminate things that are good, in and of themselves, but that are competing for my time, space and energy with things that serve me better.

If I only focus on the weeds, I miss what lies beneath them. This is why it is essential to carefully remove the grasses that crowd and conceal, so that the plants can reveal their beauty.

I don't want to focus overly much on the weeds in my life. I want to look beyond them to the beauty that is there. I can focus on the weed of impatience, for example, and justify it as a sign that I value my time. But looking beneath, I can discover the beauty of allowing…allowing things to unfold as they will…allowing people to be who they are and trusting that all is well.

Most of the weeds are easily pulled from the ground, as their roots are shallow. These plants truly are interlopers that spring up quickly. When I encountered a tuft of grass that clung more tenaciously to the earth, using a hand trowel helped to loosen its grip.

The interlopers in my life have shallow roots as well, if I become aware of them quickly and remove them. When a stubborn habit or time waster or fear inducing thought wants to cling to my space, or my heart, I have tools that help with removal: chatting with a trusted friend, prayer, meditation, self care, choosing for my highest good, consistency, journaling, walking in nature.

Look at the differencein this area, after methodically removing every weed, clover and clump of grass. The energy feels completely different, and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Butterflies began flitting about and there were none here before I began weeding. And not one, but two dragonflies appeared to check my work out. The space, free from clutter, felt inviting. I returned to it over and over, just to enjoy the beauty of it. I felt a great sense of accomplishment.

I can feel that same energy, that sense of my life opening up, and becoming more inviting and welcoming, when I am diligent about keeping my heart and soul clear. When I am methodical about removing unwanted habits or thoughts that clutter my personal space, that sense of accomplishment feels amazing. More good things are attracted into my life.

This was the most beautiful result from weeding the entrance to the garden. As I tugged the last clump of crabgrass from the ground, I inhaled the earthy scent of sage. Suddenly I realized I was lightly grasping the Russian sage plant to my left. It was as if we were holding hands. I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me and tears filled my eyes. Was the gratitude coming from the sage plant? Did it feel the change in energy that clearing the space brought? It was an interesting idea, since burning dried sage is a way of clearing a room of negative energy. I tenderly held the sage, feeling great joy, and then I kissed it and released the plant. Were the neighbors watching? I didn't care!

Gratitude is such a vital part of my journey. When weeds pop up in my space and my life, they bring opportunities for lessons, and growth. I hope that the gratitude I express as I live in clarity and beauty releases an unmistakable aroma of joy, peace and love.

The garden looks great this evening. I feel delight, and satisfaction and yes, gratitude. How grateful I am that I allowed the garden to instruct me today. What powerful lessons I learned as I pulled weeds and basked in the sun and received love from a sage plant. Every time I walked by that Russian sage plant, after we held hands, its long fragrant stems wrapped around my legs or tangled with my feet. That has not happened before. It was like a child, eagerly expressing love by wrapping her arms around my legs. I love you too, Sage, I whispered.

I'm headed out now to give Sage a goodnight hug.

July 11, 2017July 12, 2017

Notice the Flowers

Although it is midway through my garden’s growing season, there was one container I had not yet planted in. The black metal cauldron, that once belonged to Greg’s grandmother and came to me from his dad, was growing a healthy crop of weeds and an assortment of volunteer plants. I took time today to clear the cauldron and transfer in firework flowers that are popping up all over the garden.

What started as a simple gardening task quickly transitioned into one of my ongoing conversations with the Divine. I love these spontaneous “chats”…and the rich lessons from the garden that teach me important truths about life.

I settled into a chair near the cauldron, enjoying the warm summer day as I pulled weeds and tidied up the container. In the past, I’ve grown yellow calendula in the big pot. This year those herbal flowers are thriving in a tall metal bucket. The neglected cauldron contained a tangle of weeds and grasses, and self starting basil and lemon balm plants.

The weeds went into a plastic bucket and I transplanted the herbs, tucking them into the ground. I was ready to dig up volunteer firework flowers that self start from the seeds they drop in the fall.

Those prolific plants are appearing throughout the garden, in metal containers, flower beds, and even between bricks on the brickio. From my space of joy and openness, a conversation with the Divine began. Everyday is an ongoing conversation with the Divine. I receive love messages and lessons through signs and wonders, synchronicities and the unfolding of the journey. Sometimes, though, like today, I “hear” the words mixed in with my thoughts.

Notice the flowers… was the thought that suddenly arose. Notice them. As I carefully dug up the wayward plants, I realized that most of them, although surviving where they were, lacked the space to do well. They were crowded and cramped, in less than ideal conditions. Their ability to grow fully and bloom was compromised.

Ah. I saw the connection between the flowers struggling to grow and human life. Sometimes, although we are surviving, we aren’t fully being who we are meant to be. Our lives are hemmed in, crowded by things or people, cramped by limitations that may be a result of the environment we have chosen to plant ourselves in.

The plants reacted as I uprooted them from their current location and transplanted them into the cauldron. I understood. In life, upheaval is a form of uprooting. Losing someone or something important, changing jobs, ending a relationship, getting a scary diagnosis, all create the feeling of life falling apart. We tend to view these experiences as negative.

However, from my role as the Gardener today, I saw a different perspective, a bigger picture. I didn’t intend harm for my plants. Quite the opposite. I was disrupting them so that they could grow and thrive. The plants drooped. They hung their blooms, even after I lovingly placed them into new spaces that allowed room to expand. They were totally unaware that I was there with them, tenderly caring for them and whispering encouragement to them.

Don’t we do the same, when life appears challenging? We can feel downcast, in spirit and countenance. The comfort of what we knew, of what we were used to, seems preferable to this new, expansive unfamiliar place we find ourselves in.

And this is the thing. The flowers look a bit sad at the moment. They will likely lose their blooms. They may rest for a few days, conserving energy. But then, new growth will begin as I lavish extra care on them, watering them often and keeping weeds away that might choke them. They don’t know it right now, but they are about to expand and they will bloom again, and thrive, stronger and more resilient.

I sat quietly, noticing the flowers and letting the thoughts rise from my heart. I recognized the truths I was receiving. The greatest growth in my life has occurred around times of upheaval, challenges and change. Those seasons were not pleasant…however, they were necessary for my growth. I was cared for as well, even if I wasn’t always aware of the Gardener in my life. All that I needed, to not only survive but to thrive and bloom, was provided with great tenderness and love.

Google image

Such profound lessons from the garden, life lessons. I felt deep gratitude and peace, sitting there in the garden with my thoughts. The Divine conversation was at an end. Or was it?

At that moment, a large blue and black swallowtail butterfly flitted around the cauldron, its wings iridescent in the sunlight. It didn’t pause in its flight, but hovered near me for several seconds before lifting gracefully into the air and disappearing over the fence.

Butterflies are significant to me, symbolizing belief, growth and transformation. I looked up characteristics specific to the swallowtail. They represent intuition, inspiration, higher consciousness, powerful beauty, strength and flashes of insight.

The arrival of the swallowtail at that moment was certainly not a coincidence. With a flourish, and extravagant beauty, it signified the end of the conversation, one full of inspiration and flashes of insight, that began with an invitation.

Notice the flowers. I am glad I was listening.

January 20, 2016

Surrender 20: Somos en el Flujo

Wednesday afternoons. My work day ends early and I pick up my grandson Dayan from school. For the last year and a half we have grabbed Chinese food and watched a couple of episodes of Doctor Who together, discussing the show, and life, afterward. However, we are caught up on Doctor Who. And we haven’t selected another series yet to watch. I picked Dayan up from school, as usual, and our routine unraveled from there.

We ate Chinese food at the restaurant rather than eating our take out dinners in front of the tv. And because Dayan ultimately needed to be in Joplin this evening, we decided to go to my house and hang out for a while. That’s when Dayan came up with the brilliant idea of coloring together. My whole family is artistic. I gifted each adult and child with a coloring book and colored pencils for Christmas. We stopped by Dayan’s house so he could pick up his pencils and select a page from his Van Gogh coloring book, and off to Joplin we went.

We were definitely out of our usual Wednesday afternoon habit. Coloring together would be a fun first though. And I love that this grandson of mine, who knows me so well and follows my journeys, often participating in my adventures, quipped, “We are in the flow, aren’t we Yaya?” We were! We were surrendered to doing something different today.

As Dayan drove, we chatted and our conversation turned to the recent death of film and theater star, Alan Rickman. I have found myself missing the bright presence of a man I only “met” by way of his wonderful movie characterizations. Dayan, who at 16 years old is mature beyond his years, shared an observation from his high school Spanish class. Both ser and estar are verbs meaning “to be”. Ser is used to describe a more permanent state, such as nationality, dates and time, and physical characteristics. Estar is used in describing temporary states of being, such as moods or location.

Dayan pointed out that in the Spanish culture, death is estar, a temporary state of being, while relationships are ser, permanent. We discussed those amazing concepts and I found great wisdom and comfort in Dayan’s words. Life and death are temporary states, that flow into each other. Relationships, connections, are eternal and not limited by temporary changes, not even death.

Dayan’s work in progress, from the Van Gogh coloring book by The Van Gogh Museum Amsterdam

My work in progress, from The Time Chamber by Daria Song.

We had fun coloring together this afternoon, chatting as we worked. And while I always enjoy our tv watching sessions, this was a great change of pace. I appreciate Dayan’s flexibility and his willingness to try something different. And his profound insights. Somos en el flujo…we are in the flow. Impermanence again, temporary, ever changing…the journey, the flow, the river of life. And our lives as well, ever changing, shifting, growing. Thank you, Dayan, for the amazing life lesson today.

December 31, 2014

Day 365: My Review of My Year of Firsts

Today was my final day of firsts. What an amazing year. I’ve spent time the past few days looking over blog posts and the past year, remembering and thinking on the valuable lessons I’ve learned. Today, to complete my year of firsts, with a first, I created a year end review with the Magisto app. It proved too cumbersome to do a slideshow with 365 pictures, although that would have been cool! The Magisto movie uses 30 pics from this past year, all firsts, to capture this exceptional year.

And exceptional it was. My year of firsts was undertaken to push me BEYOND….beyond what I was used to doing, beyond my comfort zone, beyond the habits I had settled into. Firsts like delivering roses to strangers on Valentine’s Day, creating a video for the Hobbit Fellowship Contest and screaming as hard as I could in a primal scream did indeed push me. Other firsts required more of me and didn’t allow me to pull back, like watching sad movies and being okay with my tears, contacting a teacher I hadn’t been in touch with for more than 40 years and publically writing about attending a Theresa Caputo event.

The firsts that were more about inward journeys brought growth. Confronting my fear of tornadoes by taking a weather spotting class and watching the movie “Into the Storm” and the documentary “Twisted Believers” helped me to release and move beyond the fear. Having firsts like Yes Day, Leaning into Silence and accepting what is by Making Friends with the Rain, brought reflection and a deeper sense of who I was. I learned to use power tools and repaired chairs, fixed faulty Christmas tree lights, created a fire pit. My creative side was unleashed in designing vignettes and taking art classes. I made new friends. I celebrated many happy occasions with family and friends, ate at new restaurants for the first time, watched movies I’d never seen before. I tried Zumba as a first and continue to dance three times a week.

There were BIG firsts. My backyard was transformed into a sanctuary of peace and beauty and continues to bring me great joy. I grew herbs and dried them and now use them to make my own beauty products, teas and potpourri. And I realized a lifelong dream by traveling to Scotland for the first time, with cousins Mindy and Harry. I learned so many things about myself on that trip. It was an unforgettable and amazing experience.

Those were some of the things I did. The bigger lessons came around the shifts that occurred in me because of my willingness to try something new…every day. That attitude brought a raised awareness about the many opportunities Joplin offers. I discovered MSSU brings in talented performers on the college circuit. The Post Memorial Library has a new art exhibit every month. Spiva is an amazing place to see incredible works of art. The “biggie” for me though was experiencing how life truly works, at least for me. I saw like I’ve never seen before how the Divine communicates with me through everything that is showing up in my life. Synchronicities abounded and helped me know that I was on the right path. And if a planned first failed, another one, the right one, always, ALWAYS showed up. I learned to trust God, life and my own instincts in such a deep way. I have seen the connection of everything and that it is a friendly universe that conspires to help me, guide me and bless me.

I am so grateful to Lu Ann Cahn for inspiring me to travel down this path through her own journey. I am beyond thankful for my family members and my friends who not only encouraged me to keep going, but experienced firsts with me. I am blessed with such faithful traveling companions. I finish 2014 changed from the person who began it with fear and trembling, and a concern that I would be able to do that which I intended to do, to one who is confident I can do all I set out to accomplish. I did it! And I am excited about the New Year, which is beginning even as I complete this blog post. A new adventure begins. I’ll see you on the JOURNEY!