I awoke this morning, from a very vivid dream. As I did my three pages of free writing, I explored the feelings that lingered as I moved from dream to wakefulness. And those thoughts have stayed with me all day. The dream marked a milestone on my journey, and reminded me how far I’ve come in the last four years.
I grew up with a great deal of fear. I’m an intuitive and the veil between this world and the spirit world is very thin for me. My earliest memories are of experiences no one else in my immediate family had. I saw things, heard things, sensed things that the other members of my family could not. At least, not at that time in their own journeys. My intuition is a gift, passed down through generations on both sides of my family.
But I didn’t see it as a gift then. It made me different. It made me fearful. And the fear drew more scary things into my life to fear. Being alone, in the dark, was terrifying for me. And remained so…until I was well into my forties. My life began to shift when I recognized that not all that happened around my intuition was frightening and that I was surrounded with God’s light, protected more than I knew.
Finally, just four years ago, I felt ready to face down my fear and embrace fully who I am, which included my intuitive self. I learned to bring Divine light and peace around me and through my home. Fear ebbed away, little by little, until I could sleep alone, in the dark, without fear.
What I have found incredible is that my dreams at night reveal the state of my mind and heart. I have always had very detailed and visually rich dreams. As a child I was plagued by nightmares, dark snapshots of what was going on in my waking life. As an adult, gripped by fear, I continued to have bad dreams that would cause me to whimper in my sleep or breathe erratically. I’d wake in a cold sweat, my heart pounding, afraid to sleep but afraid as well to be awake in the middle of the night.
When I accepted that I am intuitive and combatted my fear, the first changes took place in my dreams. The scenarios no longer made me wake trembling. Rather I was able to watch what was unfolding in a more detached way. The first time I spoke during a dream and firmly said “Stop it”, I woke amazed at my courage AND the fact that the bad dream did stop when I spoke. Over the last four years my dreams have continued to reflect the changes in my life. I still dream of spooky stuff, experiences that have scared me in the past, but in my dreams I am taking control of the situation and watching more with curiosity than fear.
The dream I had early this morning showed me the current state of my mind and heart. People were having frightening experiences in a huge house that held negative energy within it. I was asked to clear the house. There was absolutely no fear as I visited the home and saw the dark entities there. I assured the owners I could handle it. And then I took charge and assembled a team of competent people to assist me. We showed up at the house, we faced the darkness, and I led them in speaking the words that cleared the negative energy away.
What a difference between taking charge…and waking in terror. This dream showed me how much my life has shifted. It perhaps showed me as well that I’m watching a lot of Doctor Who. A lizard man was part of my team! What an amazing dream. I woke feeling empowered and confident and courageous.
As those super charged emotions have stayed with me today, the title of a book came to me, written by Robert Benson, “Between the Dreaming and the Coming True”. It’s been years since I read that delightful book. I never quite understood the title. Suddenly, this afternoon, those words made sense to me. As I am growing in my journey, my subconscious is feeding the shifts into my mind, where the changes play out as dreams. They are running ahead of my reality, the coming true part of my life. I exist in that “between” space, between the heroics of my dreams and the realization of what’s possible. That’s where my journey is.
I am thrilled to have had such a powerful dream. Fear has no place in my life. And my subconscious is making that known to me. I accept that. I believe. And if the need arises, I am ready to assemble my team!