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I have not been one for wearing my heart on my sleeve. However, when listening to the song Ever, Ever After from the Enchanted Soundtrack, one phrase caught my attention.
“Start a new fashion, wear your heart on your sleeve.”
I heard within those words an invitation that ultimately, I could not ignore. Ever, Ever After became my song for this year, and for good reason. I have much to learn from it.
What does it mean, wearing my heart on my sleeve?
Wearing one’s heart on one’s sleeve means openly showing feelings and emotions, rather than keeping them hidden away. Because being open about feelings brings with it vulnerability and exposure, there is much debate on whether this is a good practice or not!
Those who have been hurt in love tend to hide away their hearts, to protect them from further pain. Exposing the heart again, after heartbreak, feels too risky.
Dwelling on those particular lyrics from the song, curiosity led me to Google, to see how the phrase came to be.
The words were first expressed in Shakespeare’s play, Othello, spoken by Iago. He says showing his feelings would be like wearing his heart on his sleeve, where birds could peck at it. In other words, to be open with his feelings could cause him to come under painful attack. Most of us understand his concern.
Why are we afraid to wear our hearts on our sleeves?
Simply expressed, we are afraid of getting hurt, especially where love is concerned. A person loves another. That other person loves someone else. That hurts. A person gathers the courage to tell someone “I love you”. The other person says “It’s just a game to me”. More hurt. People fall in love. They change over time and their love changes too. Suddenly those people no longer know each other.
We protect that which has been hurt. A broken heart is easier to tend to, we think, than staying open with our feelings and risking further pain.
It’s the second oldest pain in the world…unreciprocated love…right behind experiencing loss. A major reoccurring theme in stories and songs, from the beginning of time, is being hurt in pursuit of love or by those we love.
Consider wearing my heart on my sleeve? No, I protected my heart. Like many people, the path of love hasn’t been easy for me to navigate. And in addition, I learned to hide my emotions while still a child. For years my heart stayed barricaded behind a thick wall of protection.
Opening my Heart
And yet…. I’ve learned that keeping my heart shut away keeps other vital parts of myself locked away as well. Reading Michael A. Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul, helped me to understand how a closed heart has energy that circles around and around without being able to pass through the body in a healthy way.
A closed heart can’t feel fully, due to fear. A closed off heart reacts to fresh experiences that trigger old pain. I chose, six years ago, to open up my heart, let emotions flow, and feel again. This has not been an overnight transformation. It is a journey that continues. Which is why the song Ever, Ever After came to me.
True Love’s Kiss
In my song for 2019, there are lyrics that are sung in the background, that I initially reacted to. In fact, when I shared the song in the blog post linked up above, I purposefully avoided mentioning them. Why? I didn’t like them.
“I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss.”
I left the words out of my blog post and I didn’t like them because they don’t apply to me. I’m not dreaming of a true love’s kiss. Far from it.
However, thinking about wearing my heart on my sleeve, thinking about this song, brought realizations.
Often, in fairy tales and enchanted stories, a true love’s kiss awakens one who is sleeping. Ah. On some level, all of us long to be awakened by such a kiss.
I spent years “sleeping” and dreaming. And I have kissed myself awake, with the truest and deepest of love. My dreaming drew me toward living a bigger life and finally I woke myself up, with the help of authors and speakers and individuals whose words, action and lives inspired me. A dozen tiny kisses helped me to rise from my slumber. Yet the truest of kisses came from my own growing awareness.
Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve
I’m taking this song seriously. Wearing my heart on my sleeve means keeping my heart open and expressing my feelings and my emotions freely. It means being vulnerable. I refuse to hide. And I will not allow my heart to close, for any reason.
Imagine the heavy burden that the world carries, at an energetic level, from thousands of years of pain birthed from the messiness of love…and from loss. Imagine the burden the human heart bears. Tucked away within each heart, pain strengthens the wall erected to keep hurt away. The problem is, that wall keeps out joy as well. That pain is restless and stirs when something triggers old hurts. It’s time for the barricades to come down.
And imagine if more and more people released old painful energy and freed their hearts to love more fully. What would that do for their lives? What would that do for the world?
Wearing my heart on my sleeve is an act of courage for me. It is a risk I am willing to take. Will I get hurt? Possibly. Will my heart expand and fill with incredible joy and light? Definitely.
A Visual Reminder
My daughter-in-law designs and sells shirts. What a great visual reminder of the truth I am living out. I’ll have MiliLou Styles create a shirt, with a heart on the left sleeve and these words across the front…
I am wearing my heart on my sleeve.
Are you dreaming of a true love’s kiss? Are you ready to wake up? Or perhaps you are already wearing your heart on your sleeve.
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You have a great way with words this really resignates with me.
Thank you. That means a lot to me!
What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading!
So beautifully written. I always love learning about the origins of idioms so I appreciate that tidbit, too!
Thank you! I love discovering word and phrase origins! So interesting to learn how language develops.
Thank you for sharing this. I have never really known the meaning of it!
I love to discover the origins of words and sayings. There’s usually a message in there for me.
Lovely! I am going to read ‘The Untethered Soul.’ I’ve been reading books by authors such as Mark Nepo and Eckhart Tolle who have been inspiring me to wake up as well.
All good authors who have played a part in my journey. The name for my blog, Cindy Goes Beyond, was inspired by a chapter in The Untethered Soul called Beyond. 😊
I think you can never really go wrong being authentic. 🙂 Always best to be a What you See is What you Get kind of person.
Authenticity is important.
I think it is so important to be transparent with your emotions. It is truly freeing. Great post.
Thanks what I’m discovering! Thank you.
I’m really happy for you Cindy, this is a great piece you’ve written. The paragraph where you say “And imagine if more and more people released old painful energy and freed their hearts to love more fully. What would that do for their lives? ” YES! So true, really inspiring thank you 🙂
It would make a difference, wouldn’t it?!
This is really great! I love the reminder idea with the shirt
I’ll post an update when I get the shirt!
This is an inspiring post! So many times in our lives we try to hide our feelings and then live with regret! Not only wearing you heart on your sleeve but sharing your heart and the feeling you have in it is so much healthier for you! Thank you for sharing your heart!
It is healthier. And I don’t want any regrets!
Great post! I love the idea of wearing your heart on your sleeve.
Thank you! It’s new to me but I’m learning and growing.
Thank you for sharing. I have never thought of “wearing your heart of your sleeve” this way. I really makes you think.
Thanks for reading and commenting! I’ve been looking at it differently too. 😊
I think everyone should wear their heart on their sleeve a little more! Great writing!
I agree! And thank you. 😊
This is such a great post!! This really resonated with me as I wear my emotions/heart on my sleeve too.
That’s wonderful! I’m learning to keep my heart there.
Great post! I recently read a book about being more vulnerable and this posting is very similar to the takeaways in the book.
Wonderful! Which book is it? I’ll have to check it out.
This article is so encouraging. Thank you so much for this! So helpful!
You are welcome! I’m learning also.
We need to be our true self to be happy. Inspiring post.
We certainly do!
Beautiful post! And a great song.
Thank you! I love how the song came to me…and that it brings me lessons I need to learn.
I think hiding emotions is an American thing. I lived abroad for years and everyone I knew was pretty open. I think wearing your heart on your sleeve opens you to many possibilities.
Interesting observation. I agree. And yes I think keeping my heart open and vulnerable is a very good thing. 😊
I love a post that shows vulnerability and transparency. Beautifully written. We all have at one time or another, stuffed our pain. My husband has taught me the value of sharing and wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’ve shared your post with my daughter – I think it’s a great read and she might be interested in the Untethered Soul book. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing the post. Pain makes us want to protect ourselves. It also has something to teach us. My desire is to stay open and learn rather than shut down.
Great post! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for reading!
I often wear my heart on my sleeve, but often only with those, I trust completely. This has made me think quite a bit.
It’s easier with those we trust not to hurt us. I understand that! I want to stay open…no mater what. I don’t want to hide my heart anymore. Thanks for commenting.
I love this so much! You’re so right about cutting off energies by closing off your heart. Definitely better off showing who you really are to the world!
Yes! I so agree. I’m learning to stay open…and express my feelings.
Thanks for the reminders. I don’t like to show my emotion and look vulnerable. I’m going to work on expressing my feelings more.
I’m working on this too!
You actually opened up that phrase to me. I’m obviously familiar with it, but I had forgotten the Othello reference and how it does represent an opening susceptible to painful attack. In my younger days, I wore my heart on my sleeve often. These days, I do hide my feelings more frequently for many reasons. I enjoyed this post ~ very beautifully written and thought-provoking.
Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. I have always protected my heart. I am learning to be open and vulnerable. 😊