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I am letting you in on a secret of mine. I’ve not spent much time in the company of women, aside from my family. Oh, I’ve enjoyed several female friendships during my life, although I naturally gravitate toward male friends. Sometimes the girls in school were just too dramatic for me. Therefore, I made the unusual choice, in high school, to not date classmates, preferring instead to build friendships. I don’t regret that choice. It took pressure off of all of us.
However, in the past few years I realize what I have missed, shunning the company of women. Although I am by nature a solitary person, who is never bored in my own company, I’m learning to deeply appreciate the sisterhood that exists among women of all ages, all colors, all nationalities, all backgrounds.
Recently a Facebook friend tagged me in a challenge, that I accepted. It arrived at a time when I am considering what it means to support and encourage the women in my life, from family and friends to dear souls I’ve never met in person but have a friendship with, nonetheless.
Her post began with the words… Fix her crown.
Facebook Challenge Fix Her Crown
My Facebook friend Gizelle tagged me, and many other women, in a post with the following instructions:
FIX HER CROWN
I choose not to cry, and dwell in a state of pity, stagnation or despair. I’ve felt the pain of being knocked down but I survived. I am still standing. As a result I choose to be part of the uplifting, development and construction of my life sisters.
Too often, women find it easier to criticize each other instead of building each other up. With all the negativity and pettiness out there, let’s choose positivity.
Upload five pictures of yourself… just you. Then tag beautiful women to do the same.
Gizelle, a bright, beautiful and spirited woman, had no idea I’ve been pondering the importance of sisterhood, which is defined as a community of women linked by a common interest. Nor did she know that those words, Fix Her Crown, have significance for me as well.
I accepted the challenge. With the deeper stirrings that I felt, a blog post seemed appropriate too. Included in this post are the five photos I shared on social media, with brief captions explaining why I chose each photo.
Fix Her Crown Meme
Lately I’ve seen a meme that snags my attention every time it pops up. Perhaps because my symbol for 2019 is the Queen chess piece, or perhaps because I am becoming the Queen of my own kingdom, the imagery behind the following words enchants me:
“Be the woman who fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world that it was crooked.” Unknown
I love that. The words call to something being born within me. This kind of woman accepts, encourages and supports her sisters. When she sees something she can help with, she does so quietly, without making a big deal about it or broadcasting to the world that her sister needs help.
In a time when division is rampant in the world, expressing kindness by “fixing her crown” feels so important. It’s not about fixing the woman. I’m not so bold to think I can fix people. This is about helping in a situation or offering an encouraging word or coming alongside for a time. It’s about raising awareness so I notice when a sister’s crown has slipped and then quietly offering without expecting anything in return.
How Do We Fix Each Other’s Crowns?
So how do we fix a sister’s crown, without telling the world it’s crooked? How do we focus on offering rather than correcting or worse, condemning?
I came up with these ideas:
- Watch for the sister whose crown seems too heavy. She might be the mom struggling to load groceries and kids into the car. Or the one who runs out of quarters at the vending machine. Lend a helping hand and offer a cheerful word.
- Notice the sister who dares to be her own gloriously unique self, no matter what anyone thinks or says. Applaud her. Leave her an appreciative note or give her a thumbs up.
- Raise strong young women. Preteen and teenage girls, on the way to their queendom, need encouragement and positive role models. They also need to hear how important it is to take responsibility for their own lives and happiness. Come alongside. Tell your stories.
- Smile at the sister who seems to be journeying alone. Invite conversation and then listen. Be a friend.
- Stand with the sister whose crown has been knocked off her head over and over again. Offer her acceptance and dignity and grace and a safe space in which to share and grow.
- Be your own beautiful, shining self. I think one of the best ways we can help each other is to live our lives as the best versions of ourselves. Me happily being me allows you to happily be you. No comparisons or judgments. No tearing down. We build each other up. We link arms and journey together.
Fix Her Crown Award
Inspired by the challenge and the quote, and motivated by the desire to honor women who are helping other women, I created the Fix Her Crown Award for bloggers. As a reader who has found her way here, please consider this your invitation to accept the award. Check out the award post, with instructions on how to participate, HERE.
And my Sisters, know I am here, a woman with a listening ear and an open and nonjudgmental heart. Queens fix each others crowns. And we are all Queens.
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