Compassion Archives - Cindy Goes Beyond

June 21, 2021

World Refugee Day

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June 20 is World Refugee Day. The day honors, respects and brings awareness to refugees around the world. The United Nations designated the day in 2001 to celebrate the strength, courage and resiliency of people forced to flee their homes due to conflicts and persecution.

It’s also a time to deepen compassion and empathy for those who are displaced and to recognize their efforts to rebuild their lives.

Read on for more information about the current plight of refugees worldwide. And to learn what I did to help this year.

Facts About Refugees

A person forced to leave his or her country due to war, persecution, disasters or violence is a refugee. Every minute, 20 people flee their homelands.

By the end of 2020, 82.4 million refugees remained displaced worldwide. More than half of the refugees are children. The number of people seeking asylum is high. Just last year, another 1.1 million people submitted requests for asylum.

Currently more than 6 million refugees live in camps. Although not meant to be permanent, some refugees live in camps for years. Basic needs are met there, such as food, water, shelter, medical care and emergency services.

Turkey hosts the most refugees, with 3.6 million living there currently. Columbia shelters 1.8 million who have fled from Venezuela.

Over two thirds of all refugees come from five countries: Syria with 6.6 million, Venezuela with 3.7 million, Afghanistan with 2.7 million, South Sudan with 2.3 million and Myanmar with 1 million.

This year’s theme for World Refugee Day is inclusion. Together, we can achieve anything.

World Refugee Day refugees — World Refugee Day – 82.4 million people are displaced

What I Did to Help This Year

I discovered a way to help refugees this year. I participated in a challenge sponsored by Church World Service (CWS). CWS is a faith based organization that transforms communities around the world through just and sustainable responses to hunger, poverty, displacement and disaster.

The Ration Challenge began Sunday June 13 and concluded Saturday June 19.

There are three parts to the challenge.

Raise Money

I set up a fundraising page through CWS and began to share my goals and intentions via social media. Sponsoring myself with an initial donation ensured I received my ration package in the mail.

I set a goal of raising $679. Those funds feed three refugees in camps for a year.

It was important for me to express to others why I wanted to do a ration challenge.

My reasons include:

raising awareness of refugees, their struggles and also their resilience
learning what it’s like to be in their situation by experiencing it on a small scale. I wanted the eye opening experience. And I wanted to shift my perspective, enlarge it and then respond.
being an example. I felt confident asking for donations because I was willing to donate also and to share in the experience of eating rations for a week.
putting actions with my words is important to me. Walking the talk, stepping up, making a difference were all motivating factors.

World Refugee Day fundraising page — World Refugee Day – fundraising page

Eat Rations

By sponsoring myself with an initial donation of $100 before May 27, I received a ration box identical to what adult Syrian refugees receive. The box contained one week of rations: a can of kidney beans, 6 ounces of lentils, 15 ounces of white rice, 3 ounces of dried chickpeas and four coupons. The coupons replicate what a refugee receives. They are traded for food.

My coupons allowed me to add to my rations: 7 1/3 cups of additional rice (I chose brown rice), 3 cups of flour (I used gluten free flour), 12 ounces of oil (I used my Almeria Gold olive oil) and because I am vegan, I received a coupon for 3.75 ounces of tofu, rather than the standard can of sardines. I don’t eat tofu either so I substituted another protein, 3.75 ounces of red beans.

On Sunday morning, June 13, I began the challenge by eating only the ration food and drinking only water. Included in my box of rations was a booklet containing recipes created by refugees. The book proved so helpful. And it contains personal stories of refugees. Check out my experience doing the challenge, below.

World Refugee Day rations — World Refugee Day – a week’s rations

Save Lives

The money raised through the Ration Challenge helps in two ways.

First, by providing emergency assistance to meet people’s most urgent needs. Life is already difficult for refugees. Now, due to the COVID pandemic, refugees are experiencing lockdowns, job losses (for those very few who are earning a small income) and disruptions to aid. Hunger is rampant.

The money funds programs that provide food rations, health care and other essential support to people who need it the most.

And secondly, money raised helps address the root cause of injustice.

We must have empathy and compassion for others. In a world where there is enough for everyone, why do some go to bed hungry at night? Empathizing with others and feeling compassion for their situations are the foundations for “charity begins at home”.

When enough people feel strongly about caring for others, then we not only help out individually (giving, reducing carbon footprint, buying ethically from sustainable companies), we ask our governments for action as well (increasing international aid budgets and supporting international aid commitments).

By experiencing the Ration Challenge, I put myself in another’s shoes for a week, increasing my compassion and empathy. By sharing my experience, I hopefully increase others’ compassion and empathy as well.

Eating Rations

My first reaction, when I opened the tiny box of rations, was sorrow. Tears filled my eyes. It looks like a small amount of food because it IS a small amount of food. The sorrow wasn’t for myself. I felt it for the refugees.

After swapping out my coupons for the additional food, I created a meal plan.

I ate three small meals a day…breakfast, lunch and supper. No snacks, except on Day Three when I experienced gnawing hunger between lunch and supper. I used some of my brown rice and a couple of spoonfuls of flour to create rice cakes that I fried in a small amount of olive oil. Eating two rice cakes satisfied my hunger and I saved the rest for future meals.

Breakfast

Every morning I ate congee, a rice dish made from 1/2 cup of rice and four cups of water. Boiling the rice for 45 minutes to an hour creates a large bowl of soft…some might say mushy…rice. It is very filling and I actually like it.

World Refugee Day congee — Breakfast every day – congee

Lunch

This meal typically consisted of a cup of rice and half a cup of beans or lentils. I measured everything. Even so, by the end of day two I wondered if my food would run out before the week did.

Supper

I increased my food slightly in the evenings. One night I made a soup from one cup of mixed legumes, using the cooking water as broth, and added half a cup of rice. However, most evenings I ate a cup of rice with half a cup of beans or lentils and added a small flatbread or rice cake on the side.

Rice cakes made from one cup of cooked brown rice and two tablespoons of flour, fried in a little olive oil.

Rewards

During Ration Challenge Week, it’s possible to earn rewards.

Refugees are resourceful and hardworking. Most are not allowed to have jobs, due to countries protecting local job markets. However, they find other ways to provide for their families. Funds from the challenge support livelihood programs in Jordan that help provide a small income for refugees.

The rewards allow participants to earn more food due to their hard work during fundraising.

Making a donation yourself earns an unlimited amount of one spice.

Inviting others to contribute, whether they do or not, earns teabags. Five people invited to donate equals one teabag.

$75 – unlimited salt

$200 – a cup of milk.

$400 – 6 ounces of one vegetable

$600 – 4 ounces of an additional protein.

$800 – canned tomatoes

$1,000 – one hot or cold beverage of choice

I went a bit beyond my goal of $679, earning rewards of cumin, salt, a cup of almond milk, 6 ounces of kale and I added 4 more ounces of red beans as my additional protein. Plus I earned tea for the week.

World Refugee Day kale — I was so excited to add kale to my rations on Day Five.

My Experience

Was the week challenging? Yes, although I really only experienced hunger on Day Three. After that day, my hunger subsided and my small meals sustained me.

However, by Day Five I felt tired. My energy levels were low because my calorie intake was extremely low. I had a slight headache. I took one of my grandsons out for his birthday dinner…and only drank water. It was a valuable teaching moment though as Joey and I discussed what life is like for refugees.

From Day One I expressed gratitude, thankfulness for the food I ate, thankfulness for the goodness of people who care for others. And daily, almost hourly, my thoughts turned again and again to refugees and what they experience.

By Day Seven, I admit I was glad to finish the challenge. Although I like brown rice, after eating rice three times a day for a week, I grew tired of it. But that brought my attention back to the refugees. My challenge week was ending. Their days and weeks go on…and on…and on…often for years. As a result, I’ll eat a meal of rice and beans at least once a week, to remain mindful.

How Others Can Help

I truly am grateful for the experience of the Ration Challenge. And I’m so incredibly thankful for those who contributed to this fundraiser and who left me encouraging notes.

Here are ways you can help:

look for refugee owned businesses in your cities and support them
watch a documentary on refugees, listen to podcasts, read books…all to learn more about the way they live and the lives they’ve left behind
speak up for government policies that support the rights of refugees
be mindful of the food you eat by not wasting any of it, by shopping sustainably and by sharing with others when you can
become a sustaining partner with CWS and make helping refugees a part of your monthly budget. Even a small amount each month helps such as the cost of a cup of coffee each week or one lunch or dinner out. Sign up here. Or you can make a one time donation on that site as well.

And…join me next year in the Ration Challenge. I want to create a team. Location and distance don’t matter, we connect via the internet and social media. Team up with me so that together, we can do more to help others. If you are interested, let me know in the comments below or send me a message. I’ll contact you next year…I promise!

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March 13, 2020March 13, 2020

A Message From My Heart

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Things are changing quickly, aren’t they, in the world at large and in our own personal worlds. In the last 48 hours, I’ve witnessed shortages of paper products, cleaning supplies, hand soap, hand sanitizer and even toothpaste in my hometown of Joplin.

This afternoon I watched people purchase “alternatives” to toilet paper such as boxes of tissues and large packages of paper dinner napkins. Why? Because empty shelves underscored the current scarcity of toilet paper.

Members of my family had their spring vacation canceled due to park closures. I received the saddest little message from my great-nephew, who intended to share his adventures with me via photos from his phone: “No photos. No Disney World.”

Events continue to shift and unfold, on an international level that then trickles down to our communities. No one will be untouched by COVID-19, even if they escape the virus itself.

I’ve thought today about what I can offer, as a blogger and as one who cares deeply about people. This is a message from my heart.

A Shift in Energy

As the virus spreads toward the midwest, I can see and feel the shift in energy. People are buying up supplies, food and medication, in case self quarantine is a necessity. Or they are stocking up to avoid the possibility of contagion by remaining at home. Our local university closed down today. Sporting events cancelled. More cancellations of all kinds are expected. Schools just let out for spring break. We will see whether they choose to remain closed afterward.

I can feel the heightened sense of fear and panic as shelves at the grocery store empty. The abundance of emotions creates a swirl of uneasiness around me that I’ve had to deal with today.

Here are some tips I’ve found helpful. I hope they are helpful to you as well.

A Message From My Heart self care — A message from my heart – practice high level self care,

Practice High Level Self Care

It starts with you and me as individuals. We are responsible for our own level of health and emotions and how we respond to situations.

Take extremely good care of yourself.

Practice meditation or yoga or breathing exercises to ease anxiety and reduce stress. Stress taxes the body by keeping it in “fight or flight” mode and that can adversely affect the immune system.

Up your level of nutrition. Eat more fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds, supplying the body with the best quality fuel so that it can perform at its highest level. Drink lots of water. Have a cup of hot herbal tea in the afternoon and take a break, breathing slowly and deeply.

Include these foods that support the immune system: citrus fruits, red bell peppers, broccoli, garlic, ginger, spinach and other dark leafy greens, almonds, turmeric, green tea, lemon balm, papaya, kiwi, berries and shiitake mushrooms.

Get plenty of sleep, as that boosts the immune system as well. Avoid tobacco smoke and reduce alcohol consumption. And catch some rays of sunshine, for up to 15 minutes a day. Sunlight triggers the skin’s production of vitamin D, which helps to lower the risk of respiratory infections.

A Message From My Heart chopped salad — A message from my heart – up your nutrition. A chopped veggie salad makes a highly nutritious lunch.

Take Precautions

The CDC offers suggestions to better protect yourself from catching COVID-19, also called coronavirus. Remember that most who contract the virus experience mild symptoms and recover. For some older adults, or those with underlying health issues, the illness may be much more severe.

Regularly wash hands with soap and water for 20 seconds or longer. If soap isn’t available, use a hand sanitizer that is at least 60% alcohol.

Maintain a minimum six feet distance between you and anyone who is coughing or sneezing. Don’t shake hands, hug or kiss others, except loved ones, and even then use caution if you’ve been in large groups or areas affected by the virus.

Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, especially while out in public after your hands come in contact with surfaces that others touch.

Cover your mouth and nose, with your bent elbow or a tissue, when you cough or sneeze. Dispose of tissue immediately and wash hands.

Stay home if you feel unwell. If you have a fever, cough and difficulty breathing, seek medical attention.

Wear a facemask IF you are sick, when around other people. If you do not have the virus, you do not need to wear a facemask, unless you are caring for someone who is sick.

Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces daily. This includes tables, doorknobs, light switches, countertops, handles, desks, phones, keyboards, toilets, faucets and sinks.

A Message From My Heart wash your hands — A message from my heart – take precautions.

Help Others

Show compassion to others. Be kind with your words and deeds, without touching and hugging others.

Check on older adults in your family and community. They are in the highest risk category if they catch the virus. Offer to shop for them, delivering groceries and supplies to their doors. Call them frequently. People may feel isolated, staying at home more during this time. Connect with them and encourage them.

Reach out to others via social media. Some have a love/hate relationship with social media. This is a time, when used properly, that it can keep people updated, informed and connected. Post news and also post funny stories and photos, encouraging quotes and inspirational memes. I’m grateful for a means of communicating with others, that is already in place.

This isn’t a time for judgment, casting blame or feeding fear. Send healing energy and good vibes into the world. Think good thoughts. Keep your heart open and full of love and joy. Sing. Laugh. Play music. Dance.

A Message From My Heart

Chopping veggies this morning, for a big healthy salad, I listened to inspirational music on my iPhone and carried on a conversation with the Divine. One line in a song, “You are more than what is hurting you tonight…”, reminded me that I am more than all of this that is going on. I am more than someone who succumbs to fear or resignation.

I asked aloud, “What can I do to help, during this troubling time of uncertainty? What can I offer?”

The answer that came, formed this post. Take care of myself. Manage stress and DO NOT give fear a foothold. Do what I can, for others. Offer sincerely from my heart. Send healing energy into the world. Trust.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or next week. I don’t know how bad it’s going to get, or how long all of this is going to last with COVID-19. However, I don’t need to give in to hopelessness or despair or fear. I am journeying onward, even if it’s from my house, well stocked with toilet paper, fruits and veggies and cat food.

Living life beyond the edges sometimes means expanding perspectives and going beyond comfort zones by shifting thoughts and beliefs. That’s an inner journey that then manifests changes in the outer world.

We are blessed that we can connect virtually. Reach out to me if you need someone to chat with or to help you slay your fears. Linking arms, figuratively, is what we do. Journey with me.

Check out this app, for a daily dose of encouragement and helpful articles and meditations. And have a listen to “Beautiful” by MercyMe

May 8, 2018

Deeper Journey into Compassion

This last week I received multiple signs, pointing me down a particular path. The word that kept popping up, in books, on social media, in conversations and on memes was Compassion.

When repetitive signs appear, creating a synchronicity string, I pay attention. It was apparent that I was being guided to take a deeper look at what practicing compassion meant.

The word compassion originates from the Latin word compat, which literally means “suffer with”. Compassion, then, is the ability to share in another’s suffering. I looked up the origins of the word suffer as well. It too comes from Latin. The words sub ferre translates to “from below” “to bear”. Those words create an image in my mind, of coming alongside someone, wrapping an arm around them, and giving them a shoulder “from below” to offer support. This gives a deeper meaning to compassion. It becomes the act of supporting or carrying one who is suffering.

I was thinking about the word, feeling my way more deeply into compassion, when I received another gentle nudge. I suddenly remembered that Anthony William, the man who has guided so many, including myself, into health and wellness, recently spoke about the very subject I was reflecting on. I had intended to listen to the recording before now. I was being reminded to do so. This…this is where the synchronicities were leading me to.

I made time late this afternoon, to listen to “Healing Power of Compassion”. I’m so grateful that I did. I had no preconceived ideas about what Anthony would say. I trust him completely so I simply opened my heart, popped in earbuds and settled back to receive. I laughed because near the beginning of his talk, Anthony asked “Do you have a cup of herbal tea?” He might have been talking directly to me, from a chair in my living room. Yes! Yes I had my cup of hot lemon balm tea.

For the next hour, I listened to Anthony’s conversational style of speaking as he shared from his heart and from Spirit. I scribbled four pages of notes as he spoke, smiling, laughing aloud a couple of times, tearing up more than once.

Here are some of the highlights from Healing Power of Compassion, by Anthony William:

• We all can access compassion, which is an understanding of suffering. It’s the soul of peace and joy. And it is vital for healing.

• Have compassion for yourself. God is Love…unconditional Love. Humans put conditions on love, even on self-love. When we feel compassion + love, we come the closest to creating unconditional love.

• Compassion is different from empathy, which can wax and wane, and from sympathy, which often has strings attached to it. Compassion is different from confidence. When we experience failure, we lose confidence. It can be destroyed in an instant.

And this is where the journey deepened for me…

• We cannot experience peace, or offer peace, without compassion. And we start with self-compassion.

• We lose peace and confidence when we become chronically ill. Self-love is an appreciation for and an acceptance of who we are. We can lose self-love if we cease to appreciate who we are or what’s going on in life. Self-compassion is practicing unconditional love for ourselves, no matter what is going on in our lives.

• Without compassion for ourselves, self-love can quickly change to self-loathing or self-hate, especially when our bodies appear to be betraying us by getting sick or failing in some way. Being told the body is attacking itself can create hatred for the body. This is soul damaging.

• Deeply root ourselves in self-compassion. Visualize compassion as a warm blanket, a cup of hot tea, or a bright light, reach out and take it, and pull it back to the heart and soul. Hold on to it. Practice it.

I understand what Anthony is talking about. In the same way that we can’t really love others, until we learn to love ourselves, we can’t offer compassion, and therefore hope, until we can live in compassion toward ourselves.

And, I understand the feeling that my body is betraying me by becoming ill and functioning poorly. That can indeed lead to self-loathing. I struggled with this as my left leg deteriorated. While in Scotland in 2014, I first began to express compassion to my body, and especially to my left leg. I expressed gratitude and recognized that my body was doing the best it could. I unknowingly set the stage for the healing that would take place two years later, by shifting into self-compassion. My journey into compassion continues.

I could share much more. Instead, it’s my earnest desire to encourage everyone to listen to this important, heart-felt message. Download the SoundCloud app. Subscribe to Medical Medium on it. Search for Healing Power of Compassion. It’s all free.

It’s that important! I know. I was guided to it for a reason…for my benefit…and for yours.

June 30, 2017June 30, 2017

Keeping a Promise

Have you ever dreamed of a loved one who has died? I did recently. In what seemed more like a visitation than a dream, Ray, who was my brother-in-law in life, appeared. Even though he passed away in 2002, I didn’t seem surprised to see him. However, I did feel guilty.

Only the day before, while working in my studio, I had seen a watercolor painting of Ray’s, laying in a basket. After Greg’s father passed away, we sorted through a house full of furniture and knick knacks and treasures. Ray, who was Greg’s older brother, gifted his mother with a small painting of swans on a lake. According to the note on the back of the framed artwork, Ray created the painting in 1983. The gift hung on the dining room wall until I packed it away and brought it home last year.

That little watercolor has been in a basket in my office for more than a year. Every time I caught sight of it, I would think I need to display that. And yet there it remained.

When I dreamed of Ray, the first thing I said to him was I’m sorry. I apologized for not doing something yet with his work of art. I didn’t want him to think that I was unappreciative of him or his painting.

Baby Ray

Ray and his dog Robbie

Additionally, I felt like my apology could have been for not understanding Ray better while he lived. Although he was my brother-in-law and we got along fine, I never knew him as well as I could have. What I did know was that Ray was creative and artistic and like all of us, trying to figure out how to fully be who he was and live out of his heart.

And like all of us, Ray didn’t always know how to do that. He moved to a big city, hoping for greater opportunities there to create the life he dreamed of. He worked in jobs that didn’t utilize his gifts and longed for something more. He hid his disappointments behind a sharp wit and oft times, sharp words that effectively kept people at a distance. My heart breaks now as I recognize he sought understanding and compassion and acceptance.

As he entered his middle years, Ray expressed himself through his art. He dabbled in watercolors and acrylics, creating beautiful paintings. He took an early retirement so that he could focus on his artistic talent, turning to a new passion, pottery. Sadly, a few years later he died, his life cut short by cancer.

I have regrets about Ray. I wish I could have spent more time with him and known his heart better. I would have enjoyed talking with him about art and the creative life, and welcomed his advice. I would have listened more. Expressed appreciation. Offered from my own heart.

All those emotions were packed into the words I uttered in my dream, as Ray sat with me…I’m sorry. But you know what? He wasn’t upset with me…for leaving his painting laying in a basket or for any shortcomings on my part during his life. He smiled. He laughed. We talked about creativity and art and living as our authentic selves. It was an inspiring and joy filled conversation, that ended with me promising to retrieve his swan painting and display it.

I marveled at the dream when I awoke. I believe that often, when we dream of loved ones who have died, their spirits are visiting us. That seems especially true when the encounter is a one on one conversation. I thought about Ray throughout that day…and then promptly forgot the dream and the promise. Until tonight.

Rummaging in my studio for supplies for a creative project I was about to do, I once again spied Ray’s painting, laying in the basket. I hesitated, staring at the swans. I promised. I wavered between doing something with the artwork…and continuing with my planned project. As I stood looking into the basket, my eyes filled with tears. Ah. There was the nudge, the tap on the shoulder from the Divine.

It was time to honor my promise. It was time to show Ray that I appreciated him and his art.

In a few moments I had found the perfect space for Ray’s swans. The painting rests on an easel, on the table near my front door. I will look at it often and think of Ray.

As I prepared to write my blog post, I suddenly remembered that I had another painting of Ray’s. He gave each of his family members a cup or mug, hand painted with birds or flowers, as Christmas gifts in 1995. I searched through a cupboard until I found the five that he gave to me and my family. My mug has a cardinal on one side and a kingfisher on the other.

I have never used my mug, fearing I would break it. But the problem with keeping an item safely packed away is that it is forgotten. I don’t want to forget any longer. I washed the mug and brewed a cup of nettle tea in it, to sip on as I wrote.

Cheers, Ray. Thank you for visiting me in my dream. Thank you for expressing your creativity so beautifully while you journeyed here and for living your life as best you could. I want you to know that I understand now. And I won’t forget.

June 6, 2017June 6, 2017

An Angel Named Jason

While I was in Italy, my blog posts focused on each day’s adventures and photos that captured the beautiful landscapes and treasures around us. Honestly, by the end of the long, fun packed days, I barely had the energy to write anything more than that!

Home now, I want to share some of the stories of Italy, providing depth to the experiences we had. Although this first tale didn’t actually take place in Italy, the events that unfolded enabled us to get to our destination in a timely, and miraculous, way.

Let me tell you about Jason.

Enroute to the Charlotte, NC airport, on our first travel day, the pilot suddenly announced that we were being diverted to Chattanooga, TN. Severe weather in the Charlotte area posed a threat to incoming aircraft. Airports in Knoxville and Chattanooga filled with airplanes, and deplaned passengers, as we all waited for clearance to proceed.

Most of us on board these planes had connecting flights in Charlotte. In our case, my daughter Elissa, grandson Dayan and I needed to catch our international flight to Rome, Italy. As time ticked by while we were grounded in Chattanooga, it became doubtful that we were going to make our connection.

We didn’t. The plane to Rome took off two hours before we made it to Charlotte.

We weren’t the only passengers stranded in Charlotte. As more and more planes arrived late, the airport filled with displaced travelers, intent on finding another flight to get them to their destinations. Imagine that scene. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people scrambling for seats on the few planes that remained at the airport. And imagine the moods of those desperate passengers. There was crying. There was anger. There was frustration.

We were concerned as well. We had a tour that started the next evening with a welcome dinner.

And we made a conscious decision. The weather couldn’t be helped. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that connecting flights were missed. We were determined to treat the American Airlines employees with patience and kindness.

We also took the action steps that we could. Dayan got on the phone with our Missouri travel agent, seeking advice. Ken attempted to book a new flight for us. There was an airplane leaving for London shortly. However, although he could see that there were seats available, he was not allowed to reserve them for us. We were required to speak to an American Airlines employee and arrange that ourselves. The problem with that was everyone was being told that flight was sold out.

As we moved slowly toward the help counter, a 45 minute process, chaos roiled around us. The three women in line ahead of us were trying to get to Rome as well. Dayan’s dad and stepmom offered helpful suggestions via phone. And Ken called back with this advice: Ask in a kind and authoritative way for seats that were still showing as available on the London flight, even if we were told it was sold out.

The series of events that happened next was miraculous to us.

As we moved closer to the help counter, the situation sounded grim. There were simply no flights available until the next day. It seemed probable that we would not arrive in Rome until Friday, missing the beginning of our tour. The ladies in front of us didn’t seem to be finding seats as they spoke to a representive. We stepped up to speak to the next available rep. Dayan spoke confidently and kindly, explaining our situation. And then he asked for the seats on the London plane. The woman looked at her computer screen, and told us she didn’t want to waste any time. “Go quickly,” she said, “get to the departing plane’s gate and see if they can help you.”

We had not heard those words spoken to anyone else. With a spark of hope, we trotted through the packed airport, dodging people, pulling our carry on luggage behind us.

At the gate we were given conflicting information. No seats available. Get in another line. The plane had already been boarded and was preparing for take off. I got in the other line indicated while Elissa and Dayan stayed at the gate, talking to the women behind the counter there. When I turned around to check their progress, I saw Dayan talking to a young dark haired man. My grandson waved me over.

The man’s name was Jason. He was an American Airlines employee and he took it upon himself to get us on that plane. I don’t know where he came from or why he decided to help us, but we were so grateful for his assistance, even if it didn’t work out.

Jason moved to an empty counter and using the computer there, got to work. And he was determined. Others said there were no seats available. The computer kept freezing or getting bogged down in a loop. Jason kept working. He called out repeatedly to the two women, “These passengers are supposed to be on that plane. Hold the plane.”

The time for departure came and went. The airplane remained at the gate. Jason kept working. The women came to believe we were supposed to be on the London plane. One woman even took responsibility for accidently deleting us from the system, sure that we were on the original passenger list. A rep kept checking on our status. The plane needed to leave.

Jason kept working. He assured us we belonged on the flight. As he worked he shared with us that he was of Italian ancestry. Ah, the reason perhaps, that he was helping us so diligently. He said he still had family in a little town in northern Italy that we had probably never heard of. Lucca, it was called. “Lucca!” we answered, “Yes! We are visiting Lucca. We know of it.” And it turned out, Jason had been on vacation. This evening, this night of chaos, was his first shift back at work. He didn’t know it when he reported to work. We didn’t know it when we hurried to the gate. But he was there for us.

One by one, Jason got us entered into a system that didn’t want to accept us. They were victories worth cheering over as each boarding pass was printed out, and gratitudes were expressed each time the captain was told there were passengers still coming on board.

Jason did it. He got us on the plane to London. He gave Elissa the name of his great aunt, who owns a hotel in Lucca. We gave him our deepest thanks. As we took our seats on the airplane, among passengers who were, amazingly, not upset by the delay, I marveled over what had just happened. I can’t explain how it happened. I only know that we kept our hearts open and our attitudes pleasant and we asked. We asked and we received. And we flew to London overnight, and from there to Rome. Jason made that connecting flight happen as well.

We thought of Jason often during the Italy tour. We talked about him as we wandered through the magical village of Lucca. Could that older woman unlocking her door be his aunt? Did his family live down this lane? We loved that beautiful, medieval town. We loved the connection between it and the angel who came to our rescue in a crowded airport full of upset travelers.

We are grateful to the Divine, who met us where we were in the journey, and heard our request for help. We are grateful for our travel angel, who appeared with the intention of getting us on the plane. He created a pocket of calm and assurance around us, and brought together a team of people who worked on our behalf.

Grazie, Jason. Grazie mille. A thousand thank yous.

The bell tower of Lucca

March 22, 2017March 22, 2017

You Don’t Know My Story

I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about tonight. Oh, a topic popped up repeatedly throughout the day, however I didn’t feel ready to unpack my thoughts about it. Coming home late, after a full day, I wanted to take the easy path this evening, posting a couple of pictures with few words.

As I contemplated creating that brief post…and titling it Every Picture Tells a Story…I realize the very word I was shying away from was there.

Story.

That word has been coming into my awareness frequently. It caught my attention and snagged my heart earlier today when I saw this quote:

“You know my name. Not my story.”

As I sat undecided tonight, wavering between writing the post I knew I was supposed to write…and taking the easy out…a character on a TV show that I wasn’t even paying attention to said: “Story…” The invitation couldn’t be any clearer.

Consider this post an introduction to what may turn into a series of essays about story throughout the year.

What if…instead of creating stories about the people we know, the people we don’t yet know, the person we’ve just met, the stranger standing in line next to us at the supermarket, we stayed open and curious and allowed them to tell us their stories?

What if…we refused to accept as truth the stories that we make up about people, and stopped judging them based on our own inaccurate characterizations?

What if…we asked to hear their stories and we listened without our own opinions clouding our perceptions?

You know my name. You don’t know my story.

You see my skin color, my gender, my age, my size. You don’t know my story.

You see the clothes I wear, the house I live in, the car I drive. You don’t know my story.

You see my actions, my frustrations, my struggles, my triumphs, my successes. You don’t know my story.

You experience my rage, fear, shyness, anxiety, silence, crudeness, sorrow, emotion, lack of emotion. You don’t know my story.

You hear my accent, my child crying, my nervous laughter. You don’t know my story.

I have a strong desire to go beyond the reactions I may have to people, and learn who they are, through their stories. I want to listen with my heart, get beneath the surface clatter, see with empathy, offer understanding.

And if their stories can’t be shared yet, for whatever reason, I desire to feel compassion. I choose to live with an I-don’t-know-their-stories awareness, rather than create stories about who they are based on my own thoughts about them. I want to get comfortable with “I don’t know”, and accept that I don’t.

I’m not sure where this journey is going. I don’t need to know. I only know that I am being drawn, guided, inspired. I’m being invited to love unconditionally and experience deeper compassion.

This is part of my story, and it is still unfolding. In sharing my story, you may feel inspired to tell your story as well. Go ahead. I am listening.

January 19, 2017

Inspiration Disguised as Synchronicity

I love when something unusual happens. It gets my attention, causing my intuitive antenna to go on alert as I hone in on the message for me. When I opened my iPhone to Google this morning, the day’s quirky holidays were listed. I have yet to celebrate one of these unique days this year. But today’s list caught my interest.

Three of the holidays jumped out at me: Artist as Outlaw Day, Tenderness Toward Existence Day, and Women’s Healthy Weight Day. Robust art, tender life, and health are the focus of my journey this year. What are the odds that these three have special days, all on the same date?

I didn’t calculate the odds. However, I accepted the invitation inspiration offered, to spend time thinking on the holidays and how my life intersects with each one. Please read about Weighing in on Ideal Weight on my other blog.

I couldn’t discover any information about this holiday. It seemed a strange pairing, artist and outlaw, until I looked at an alternative meaning for the word outlaw.

Rather than seeing an outlaw as a criminal on the run, a law breaker, I considered the term outcast instead. The word originates from the Old Norse utlagr, meaning banished. Banished, relegated to the fringes of society, viewed as different, a little scary, living by his or her own rules. I could begin to relate!

And certainly, not all artists are viewed as pariahs, as outcasts. But their very creative souls allow them to perceive the world, and life, differently. From that tilted or expanded or deepened perspective flows astonishing music, eyebrow raising art, and powerful words that can change a life.

I don’t know what the original intent was for this strange holiday, but I no longer care. I appreciate what rose within me today as I contemplated the artist as outlaw, as I thought about myself as living happily on the fringes. I am making art more robust by allowing creativity to occupy a larger part of my heart and life. Art is at the forefront of my awareness, growing stronger and more vigorous.

I couldn’t locate the origins of this unique holiday either, which is an unusual occurrence in itself. I’ve never clicked on a link for one of these celebrations, and not found some info. It happened twice today.

Perhaps the personal message to me was to see where my thoughts led me. Existence is another word for life, for the state of living. Its origins are from the Latin ex – out, sistere – take a stand. Existence literally means out taking a stand or out, being.

Tenderness is a feeling of sympathy, of compassion, toward someone or something. Kindness is another synonym. This holiday, then, could be interpreted to be a day of expressing kindness and compassion toward all living things, toward all who are out, being.

I suddenly recalled this evening, another definition for tenderness. The word can mean a sensitivity to pain.

How powerful this bizarre little holiday became for me. Tenderness toward existence, resulting in compassion and a sensitivity to the pain of others…ALL others.

My heart is wide open. I want love, compassion and sensitivity to the pain of others to flow to all of existence, regardless of race, skin color, gender, orientation, economic circumstances, age, intelligence…beyond any perceived differences or imagined barriers. Compassion toward all life, all people, whether they are like me or very different, agree with me or disagree, love me or dislike me. All people.

All life.

A couple of nights ago, one of the possums I feed on the front porch, found his way to the back door, and into the utility room by way of a cat door. Fortunately, the utility room door opening into the kitchen was closed. But what a surprise, to have a possum indoors.

Even though the back door was opened so he could exit, he chose not to. He was happy in the corner, beside the washer. I checked on him numerous times. There was a broom nearby. I could have attempted to chase him out.

Instead, I spoke calmly to him each time I checked on him. I told him it was okay. He was safe. He could leave whenever he wanted. I would not hurt him. Whenever I spoke to him, he would raise his head and watch me, listening, blinking his eyes as if he understood. He never showed fear, nor did he bare his teeth or hiss. He also didn’t play dead! I’ve yet to see a possum, “play possum”. He was calm and alert. And so was I. We didn’t speak the same language, so different were we, but we connected in our mutual respect for each other.

Sometime in the night, he returned to the outdoors.

I thought about that possum a lot today. He offered me lessons in acceptance, grace and compassion, and in communicating beyond spoken words. He allowed me to exhibit tenderness. I am grateful. I am making life a little more tender by being aware of the sacredness of all life, of all of existence.

If only I had grabbed a sketch book and created a quick possum portrait. I would have been celebrating Artist as Outlaw Day and Tenderness Toward Existence Day, a little early.

July 13, 2016

Helping Hands

Every Wednesday afternoon, I stop at Bamboo Chinese Food in Carl Junction, to pick up take out. My grandson, Dayan, and I have lunch together, then, at his house while chatting and watching episodes of whatever series we are currently on.

Today was no different. However, as I was getting back into my car, after picking up the lunches, a little scene played out nearby that caught my attention. There is a food and clothing ministry located adjacent to the restaurant. Called Helping Hands Ministries, I’ve seen the sign and storefront many, many times. However, today, for the first time, I saw the door open and a young girl, about eight years old, skipped out.

Her father was sitting in a car parked next to mine. The cute little girl swung open the car door, and exclaimed excitedly to her father, “Look Daddy!” She held up a small plastic bag as she climbed into the car. “I got everything I needed!” Her dad gave her a faint smile.

Sitting now in my car, my eyes filled with tears and my heart was pierced by the beautiful poignancy of that unexpected moment. I drove away while the father and daughter remained in the parking lot, possibly waiting for other family members to join them.

I replayed that scene over and over. The father seemed so defeated. But the little girl was happy, excited, grateful for her small sack of clothing. Her joy was real and sincere. I felt torn. I had about $20 cash in my purse. Should I go back and give the father what I had? Should I give them the Chinese food I had picked up? I felt conflicted and had no wish to offend the dad. In the end, I drove on.

Why did I see that happen? I asked aloud. What am I supposed to do? I had never seen anyone coming out of the food and clothing pantry. Why did I today, being present at that moment, to overhear what the girl said? I couldn’t get that sweet child out of my mind. Such a small sack. Such obvious delight.

Later, after leaving my grandson and showing property, my thoughts returned to that scene. When I got home I looked up the ministry. Their mission statement reads:

Carl Junction Helping Hands Ministries exists to share the Bread of Life in our community. Our goal is to help all families within the Carl Junction school district by distributing food and clothing to those in need.

A worthy mission, that I saw being carried out this afternoon. The website said that clothing donations were appreciated and could be dropped off outside their front windows.

Photos from Helping Hands Ministries website.

I was still pondering my question concerning the significance of witnessing the little girl with her sack of clothing. I knew there was an importance that I was missing. Suddenly I had a hand to the forehead moment. Oh. Oh!

As I was getting ready for the day this morning, I was thinking about the spirit of compassion. More than thinking about it, I specifically expressed a desire to learn more about compassion, and to express compassion more.

Compassion – a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. From the Latin word compati, to suffer with.

I was reminded of a scene from A Christmas Carol, in which Scrooge asks to be shown some expression of tenderness for the death of a man. He is whisked to a home where that emotion is played out. I asked to learn more about compassion, and I too was delivered to a scene being played out before me, that evoked strong compassion.

Thich Nhat Hanh says simply, “Compassion is a verb.”

I agree. My heart is full of tenderness and compassion toward that little girl and her family. And toward others who are in need. Putting action and intention with those feelings, next week, when I stop to pick up Chinese food, I will be leaving bags of children’s clothing in front of Helping Hands Ministries. And I’ll offer a cash donation, to purchase food for their pantry.

I don’t know if that child and her dad will return to the ministry. However, she inspired me to help, for her sake and for the sakes of others in need. Because of her, I am able to immediately be compassion in action.

I am humbled by today’s experience, and ever so grateful.