Today is my birthday! And what a joy filled day it has been. I’ve received hundreds of birthday wishes and blessings, from all over the world. Some of the messages made me laugh. Some let me know that the sender understands who I am and they get my journey. And some made me cry…happy tears. What a beautiful world we live in. I am undone by the outpouring of love and joy and encouragement.
Last year I wrote a birthday post for every member of my large, extended family. In April I began to include information about each person’s name and personal characteristics. I missed doing that for those with birthdays in January, February and March, including myself.
I looked up my name, my formal name:
“Cynthia, you are cheerful and friendly, and could live a very emotional life. A high energy person, you like to have several lines of effort going at once. You are a good speaker and promoter and can express yourself joyfully and constructively. You have the ability to think up big ideas and bring them to completion. You might be psychic. You are inventive, intuitive and extremely methodical. Since your will is so strong, you can be hard to convince. You also dislike advice and at times, you can be impatient, and impulsive. However, you love beauty and philosophy and spirituality . You have a strong need for freedom – physical, mental and spiritual.
You have the power and the unique ability to choose your own destiny and achieve anything you want in life. You can expand in any direction according to your will and your set of values. You have a passion for life and for fairness, which means you belong in a position of authority. You are inherently courageous and possess the endurance to accomplish “The Impossible Dream”. With that power comes responsibility, something you are willing to accept. You hold keys to the material world, but with this gift comes a high spiritual responsibility to be fair and true to others. You are philosophical and mature, determined and intense, with a desire to endure and go far.”
I read through the words above slowly and thoughtfully, feeling into them for truth. It’s a bit different posting them, when they are for me rather than a family member. I can see my loved ones’ strengths and passions clearly.
I see truth there, sense it really, more than see it. I am encouraged by what I read, receiving affirmation that it is okay for me to be a dreamer, a big idea generator, psychic, intuitive and inventive. Creativity pulses through my blood. As do stubbornness, impatience (especially when I am forced to wait because of the inaction of another), and impulsiveness. And I do desire freedom of all kinds, freedom to be, to journey, to grow, to walk in an uninhibited way with the Divine.
I love reading that I have the power and ability to choose my own destiny and achieve anything that I want in life. What a powerful blessing. It’s the equivalent to being handed a map and a magical key and being told “No door is closed to you, no land off limits.” The adventurer in me quickens with such spacious thoughts. What an amazing invitation to explore, both my inner and my outer worlds.
I am intrigued by the very first sentence, in the description, that ends with the words….could live a very emotional life. Could is the key word. I have not lived an emotional life at all, because I chose at a young age not to, suppressing emotions such as anger and sorrow. I wonder how I would be now, if I had chosen otherwise, if I had lived as the emotion filled being I was intended to be?
There is no going back, no undoing that long ago choice. I have done much inner work in the last ten years, to free all of my emotions, to stare down fear and embrace who I am, all of me, gifts, quirks, strengths and weaknesses. It is an ongoing journey. Perhaps I will yet know what it is to experience a full range of emotions freely.
The last year has been amazing for me. I have learned vital lessons and experienced growth. I walk with greater trust, in myself, in the Divine, in my ability to have an ongoing conversation with the Divine. I walk without a cane! And I am well underway on a remarkable healing journey that is restoring my health and vitality. My family thrives and all are well, all is well. Tonight I dined with eight of my loved ones, a casual, fun celebratory meal.
I am indeed so inspired this year, to see what I can do, what I can achieve, who I can walk alongside with, who I can help. Within me does burn the desire to endure and go far, beyond my boundaries, beyond my borders, journeying with the flow, surrendered to Life and where it takes me.
Impossible dream? I don’t think so! Happy birthday, dear Me. Onward and upward. I love you!